Mr. Darcy has, once again, swept me off my feet and throw my heart down the privy. His silent wish to impress and his lack of impressing the intelligent and ever-teasing Elizabeth Bennet... why I find it rather fascinating.
But that is not the only reason I am inconcievably happy... My Lizzie is coming along extraordinarily well. Backed up by thousand - nay millions - of romantic songs I must listen to the most sad and depressing ones to write. I am so happy that depression has fled away!
But, alas, I know that school shall depress me... hard as I try not to think of it. So, without further ado, I shall present some of My Lizzie to tantalize you with my paintbrush of words and ink [not so much] and letters...
My Lizzie
Dearest Tomas,
After our previous discussion, I have decided to follow my father's dying wish. For the good of the family. I am pleased to announce that you are asked to come to the ball in velebration of the engagement of Sir Edmund of Hartford and myself. I would be delighted to have you, my beloved friend, present. It would be wonderful to share your confidences again. I am sure you and Sir Edmund will be best of friends.
Sincerest Wishes,
Elizabeth Alena Harte
Second Mistress of Worthingshire Estate
Tomas slid the letter unto the side of his desk, debating the thousads of ways to answer Elizabeth's good news. He finally sat down and complied the letter.
My Lizzie,
I am glad for you and Sir Edmund. I hope you are well suited for each other. On the matter of attending this ball, I will be delighted at recieving such an honor. It will be a pleasure to attend. If you would be so kind as to tell me the date of said ball, I will schedule around it. Dearest friend, kindest regards to you and your gentleman. I will see you then.
Best Wishes,
Tomas Duben
Second Master of Duben's Estate
Lizzie sat down and put Tomas's letter on the table. Lizzie's butler came into the room.
"Sir Edmund of Hartford, Miss," he announced. The door opened and in came Edmund. He was extremely hansdome with sleek black hair, impecable manners, and blue eyes that girls claimed could steal your heart. They had yet to steal Lizzie's heart, though.
"Lady Elizabeth," he bowed.
"Lizzie, please," she replied. "Good morning, Edmund."
"Good morning, Lizzie," Edmund said, struggling to say Lizzie. He smiled his clever smile. Lizzie secretly compared it to a smug grin and was not fond of it.
"Now, my good friend Tomas, the Master of Duben's Estate's son, is coming to the ball as soon as I reply to his letter," Lizzie said, picking up a quill and writing out a letter.
Dearest Tomas,
Once again, you delight me with your company. The ball is set to take place on the Nineteenth of July. Feel free to come earlier (for my pleaure, I need assistance with gowns!) if you wish to do so. I await your reply.
Sincerest Wishes,
Elizabeth Alena Harte
Second Mistress of Worthingshire Estate
"Once again, you have decided to invite one of your foolish friends?" Edmund commented.
"No," Lizzie rebuked. "Tomas is hardly foolish. He is well-bred and has a fine character. I hope you shall both be good friends."
"Men are men, Lizzie," Edmund replied smartly. "We tend not to be bosom friends, but show our wives and estates to one another."
"Tomas is a fine man," Lizzie spoke softly. "He has been a good friend to both myself and my family."
"Why are you not engaged to him?" Edmund asked angrily. "Is he to high and mighty to marry you?"
"He never asked, and I would not expect him to do so," Lizzie blushed. "I am shocked you would say as such, Edmund. Tomas would never marry for money or prospects, but for love."
"He is a fool then, this Tomas," Edmund said, cooling his temper. "Love is not what marriage is for; love is for elopment. Marriage is for the good of the family."
"Be he a fool or a wise man, he is my guest and friend, you will treat him well, Edmund," Lizzie said seriously.
"Only as he deserves, Lizzie, dear," Edmund said, pecking her on the cheek. "I've business to attend to; men business. I'll be off."
My Lizzie,
Thank you for the date. I will come to your house on the Tenth and we will see these astounding gouns that are causing you such trouble.
Best Wishes to you and yours,
Tomas Duben
Second Master of Duben's'Estate
Tomas signaled to the carriage to stop. Lizzie's estate looked grand, as usual. It was too bad that her mother was the First Mistress of the estate and that Lizzie was only Second Mistress. Lizzie new the land and the people much better than her mother. Tomas was greeted by Lizzie's butler and followed him to Lizzie's parlor.
"Tomas!" she cried, standing. She was about to come to Tomas when a man gripped her shoulder.
"Lizzie, dear, who is this young man?" he asked, running a hand through his slick black hair. Tomas automatically felt a hatred for the man, whoever he was.
"Oh, Edmund, this is Sir Tomas," Lizzie introduced.
"A pleasure Sir," Tomas said, crossing the floor and putting out his hand towards Edmund.
"Indeed," Edmund replied condesendingly, ingoring Tomas's outstretched hand. "Listen, Lizzie, I've some business to attend to. Don't get in any trouble."
Edmund turned on his heel and left the room without another word. Lizzie gave Tomas a weak smile.
"He doesn't like me much, does he?" Tomas asked.
"He doesn't like anyone that I've had relations with first. He seems convinced that they are not as good as his business friends," Lizzie said. "Oh, but I should not be judging him so, he is my fiance."
"Well, I'll be darned. Lizzie I've never heard you speak so!" Tomas laughed. "Now, do I get any proper greeting, since your fiance isn't looking?"
"Of course!" Lizzie said, hugging him feircly. "I've missed you so, Tomas. It seems so long. I don't know what to say."
"How about those dresses you mentioned?" Tomas asked.
"Oh, Edmund has already given me a dress as a present," Lizzie said disappointed. "But I can show it to you."
"Lead the way, Lizzie," Tomas said with a wave of his hand. Lizzie giggled.
Lizzie tucked a strand of luxurious dark brown hair behind her ear and took one last glance in the mirror. Her hair was up except for the occasional loose curls. Her brown eyes were emphasized by thick lashes and dark red lips. Her thin waist was accentuated by a long red dress. A single black rose vine was embroidered on the bodice. The skirt was long and swished on the ground, covering her delicate little red slippers. Lizzie jumped as there was a knocking on her door.
"Lizzie, are you coming?" Edmund asked crossly. "They are ready to announce us."
"Yes, yes," Lizzie said fumbling with the door handle. "I'm coming."
"You look beautiful," Edmund whispered as they both stepped down the stairs to the awaiting crowd. The mass of people was utterly silent, watching Lizzie's satin dress slide on the stairs and Edmund escorting her.
"Thank you," she replied.
"Oh, Lizzie, you may speak to whomever you wish, but I am your only dance partner," Edmund said sharply. "You may dance with no one but me."
"Yes, Edmund," Lizzie said quietly. She was disappointed for she loved to dance.
Edmund released Lizzie to the congratulations of the quests while he retreated to the company of his business friends. Tomas waited for Lizzie in a small corner, his hand around a glass of brandy.
"You look astounding, Lizzie," he greeted. "I wonder where your finace has gone. Does he not see how all the men's eyes watch you?"
"He probably thinks me nothing but a prize," Lizzie said, standing next to him. "I suppose I am meant to be seen. To have those men stare at me. It does make one nervous, does it not?"
"I should assume so," Tomas chuckled, sipping his drink. "I would be nervous if I had a bunch of women watching me like a piece of meat."
Tomas's sister, Emma, and her husband, John, both came to greet Lizzie.
"My, my, Lizzie," Emma clucked. "That Edmund is certainly a catch. I wonder how much he owns."
"Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth," a young man interuppted. "May I have this dance?"
"I'm sorry, but no," Lizzie answered. "My dance partner is my fiance."
"Oh, well then, best wishes," the man replied. He looked hurt, but recovered well.
"Why are you refusing every man who asks you hand in a dance?" John asked.
"Edmund has forbidden me to dance with anyone but him," Lizzie replied.
"That's just outrageous!" Emma exclaimed. "You are about to be married, now is when men will notice you!"
"Hush, Emma," Tomas said quietly. "Don't get in an uproar. I'm sure Edmund and Lizzie have their reasons."
"Yes, I'm sure they do," Emma whispered, thinking.
Whit gossamer bows, strings of pearls and white flowers adorned almost every inch of Worthingshire Estate. Servants bustled about hurriedly for the grand wedding of Sir Edmund and Lady Elizabeth. Tomas looked happily about the rooms because there was still time before the wedding cerimony in the chapel.
"Please, sir," a maid said curtsying. "Lady Elizabeth requests you meet her in her chambers."
"Thank you," he replied. The maid curtsied and left.
Tomas approached Lizzie's chambers. He heard loud sobbing within.
"Lizzie?" Tomas said knocking on the door. He glanced over his shoulder, he saw Edmund stalking down the hallway. "Lady Elizabeth, it is Sir Tomas."
"Sir Tomas," Edmund greeted. "May I ask as to why you are disturbing my Lizzie?"
"She requested my prescence," Tomas replied.
"Well," Edmund pondered, placing himself in between Tomas and Lizzie's door. In Tomas's favor, another servant came requesting Edmund's prescence. Edmund glared at Tomas.
"You stay away from her, Tomas," Edmund sneered threateningly
"Sir Edmund, Lady Elizabeth is my dear friend. I will do as she wishes," Tomas rebuked. He decided that he was not going to loose one of his best friends to a monster of a gentleman.
"As the lady wishes," Edmund bowed, leaving Tomas, storming down the hallway.
"Lizzie," Tomas whispered knocking ever so softly. "Lizzie, please." Lizzie opened the door. She was in a beautiful wedding gown, but her eyes and face were red from crying. "Oh, Lizzie," Tomas cried. "Whatever is the matter?" Lizzie hugged him close. Her dearest closest friend.
"How can I tell you, Tomas?" she whispered. "I should not have called you, but to have you here is wonderful."
"What happened?" Tomas asked, holding her hand. "You know you could tell me anything."
"I might as well," Lizzie murmured. "I - I was discussing my dress and the bride's maids and saying how much Charlotte would love to be one. Edmund came to me and said that his wife would have to be submissive and that he had already decided who was to be in the bridal party. I asked whom might be in the bridal party and he just became so angry - he yelled that I was not to ask him such trivial questions. I said that I was sorry to have displeased him and he became even more angry and claimed that I was sassing him. He became so angry that he - he..."
"What did he do, Lizzie?" Tomas asked gently.
"He hit me," she answered simply.
"I think you should not enter into marriage with this man, Lizzie," Tomas spoke in a soft low voice. "He is not good for you."
"Please, Tomas, don't be silly," Lizzie said smiling. "I did sass him. I did deserve some sort of punishment."
"I'm speachless, Lizzie," Tomas said shocked. "The man abuses you and you take it like it was your fault!"
"I'm so sorry for calling you here and upsetting you, Tomas," Lizzie said kindly. "I'm sorry, but will you excuse me? I still must prepare for the wedding - what with my red face. Thank you for coming."
EEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as Olivia would say. More comes soon.
All my love,
Asiat
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
hallo... everyone
vacations at friends' houses are wonderfully tantalizing :D I have enjoyed this vacation thoroughly.
Of course, I'm being entertained with things like Mr. Darcy's Diary and New Moon.
So I actually managed to work on My Lizzie...
It's like the last of the story, so you probably won't get it. Kind of an FYI: It's from Tomas's P.O.V. [point of view, for our local dunces.]
That first night, after we were married, Lizzie was nervous. She wouldn't talk. She just lay on the bed with her back to me. I didn't sleep for fear that my Lizzie would disappear.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Lizzie woke gasping, sweating, panting. Her eyes were wild with fear.
"Lizzie, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling her to me. "What's wrong, love?"
"Nightmare," she replied blackly shuddering.
"Do you have them often?" I murmured in her ear.
She nodded.
"Are they about him?"
Another nod.
"He will never hurt you again. Never, ever touch you again," I vowed. I wrapped my arms around her gently, unsure if she wanted my affection.
"Hold me," she pleaded. I pulled my arms tighter. "Please talk to me; stories - anything! Just keep the nightmares away."
"I will do whatever it takes to help you, Lizzie, my love," I swore. We just lay there, me holding her; her holding herself.
I knew then that Lizzie was not ready for anything I wanted so badly, but I was prepared to wait. That man had cut and scared my Lizzie in so many ways. It would be a long road to recovery but I knew that nothing was better than being with my Lizzie.
All my love,
asiat
Of course, I'm being entertained with things like Mr. Darcy's Diary and New Moon.
So I actually managed to work on My Lizzie...
It's like the last of the story, so you probably won't get it. Kind of an FYI: It's from Tomas's P.O.V. [point of view, for our local dunces.]
That first night, after we were married, Lizzie was nervous. She wouldn't talk. She just lay on the bed with her back to me. I didn't sleep for fear that my Lizzie would disappear.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Lizzie woke gasping, sweating, panting. Her eyes were wild with fear.
"Lizzie, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling her to me. "What's wrong, love?"
"Nightmare," she replied blackly shuddering.
"Do you have them often?" I murmured in her ear.
She nodded.
"Are they about him?"
Another nod.
"He will never hurt you again. Never, ever touch you again," I vowed. I wrapped my arms around her gently, unsure if she wanted my affection.
"Hold me," she pleaded. I pulled my arms tighter. "Please talk to me; stories - anything! Just keep the nightmares away."
"I will do whatever it takes to help you, Lizzie, my love," I swore. We just lay there, me holding her; her holding herself.
I knew then that Lizzie was not ready for anything I wanted so badly, but I was prepared to wait. That man had cut and scared my Lizzie in so many ways. It would be a long road to recovery but I knew that nothing was better than being with my Lizzie.
All my love,
asiat
Saturday, December 27, 2008
NEWS!!!!!!!!!
Alas, you my minions will be pleased and angered.
So To Grind Coffee Beans has hit a dead end... and I was watching Pride and Prejudice...
No surprise there, it's a very addicting movie.
It also gave me an idea and thus sprund up My Lizzie.
My Lizzie is an adorable little complicated love story in way-back-when.
So summary?
Elizabeth Alena Harte [play on words heart/ Harte] is engaged to Sir Edmund [LAVENDAR!!! olivia :D] of Hartford [it's a sitch like from The Luxe, for fans of that series]. In steps Sir Tomas Duben of Duben's Estate. He has been Lizzie's best friend since the beginning. After the grand wedding of Lizzie to Edmund, Tomas recieves some pleading and rejection from Lizzie. He knows something is wrong; Lizzie's mysterious bruises; her overprotective and easily angered husband's frequent rages lead Tomas to believe Lizzie is being abused by Edmund. [The plot thickens!] Tomas is shocked after he uncovers Edmund's plans to murder him and conquer his estate. He confronts Lizzie on her creepy, abusive husband and she confirms his suspisions.
Thus starts the non-sexual affair of Lizzie and Tomas. [!!!]
After an especially brutal beating, Lizzie is found unconcious by Tomas. Tomas gets so angry that he challenges Edmund to a duel.
And I REFUSE TO REVEAL THE END!!!!!!!!
You will just have to read it yourselves once... mebe... it hits the shelves... If it doesn't you can torture me for the ending scenes.
Do you likey??? See? Ms. Austen has once again saved me from writer's block of the acutest kind!
All my love,
Asiat
So To Grind Coffee Beans has hit a dead end... and I was watching Pride and Prejudice...
No surprise there, it's a very addicting movie.
It also gave me an idea and thus sprund up My Lizzie.
My Lizzie is an adorable little complicated love story in way-back-when.
So summary?
Elizabeth Alena Harte [play on words heart/ Harte] is engaged to Sir Edmund [LAVENDAR!!! olivia :D] of Hartford [it's a sitch like from The Luxe, for fans of that series]. In steps Sir Tomas Duben of Duben's Estate. He has been Lizzie's best friend since the beginning. After the grand wedding of Lizzie to Edmund, Tomas recieves some pleading and rejection from Lizzie. He knows something is wrong; Lizzie's mysterious bruises; her overprotective and easily angered husband's frequent rages lead Tomas to believe Lizzie is being abused by Edmund. [The plot thickens!] Tomas is shocked after he uncovers Edmund's plans to murder him and conquer his estate. He confronts Lizzie on her creepy, abusive husband and she confirms his suspisions.
Thus starts the non-sexual affair of Lizzie and Tomas. [!!!]
After an especially brutal beating, Lizzie is found unconcious by Tomas. Tomas gets so angry that he challenges Edmund to a duel.
And I REFUSE TO REVEAL THE END!!!!!!!!
You will just have to read it yourselves once... mebe... it hits the shelves... If it doesn't you can torture me for the ending scenes.
Do you likey??? See? Ms. Austen has once again saved me from writer's block of the acutest kind!
All my love,
Asiat
Thursday, December 25, 2008
MORE OFFICIAL-ities :D
so this is the first official post from my laptop :D i <3>
oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
So I decided that my good mood, depressive music [what a combo!], and my next book... have all contributed to this post!
my next work is To Grind Coffee Beans...
Hugh Arington and Alexandria Forthing are just two teens in their small town. Hugh's family is abnormally rich and Hugh has everything he could ask for. Alex is very poor. She doesn't invite anyone over because her house is falling apart... like no door or anything. Alex focuses on keeping her mom's medication coming and putting food on the table.
Overall it seems that Alex has a much worse off life than Hugh, but not so! Hugh's family looses all their money in a recession and Hugh resorts to drinking to relieve his stress. It's his 'scape goat' because his parents are becoming abusive and he just wants out. Hugh and Alex have been friends forever, but suddenly Hugh is pushing her away. She decides that it's time she told the truth. She shows him her house and her mom - who is dying of luekemia.
Hugh is distraught at how much worse Alex's life is - and he never knew.
Suddenly, he thinks he's such a bad person - how terrible he's been to Alex because he skipped breakfast because he woke up late and she hasn't eaten for two days. He thinks it's terrible so he drinks again...
And suddenly he's drunk and in the front seat of a car on the highway and he amazingly ends up on the side of the road with only a broken leg.
Alex is driving down the highway coming home from a party and sees a familiar car on the side of the road. When she stops, who is there but Hugh?
At the hospital, Alex becomes Hugh's closest friend - even closer than they ever were because Hugh's falling in love with Alex.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw
It's really sweet, but doesn't end nearly as happily as any of you suppose... Yes, Vortican no perfect ending here.
Okay, ending there!
BTW, thanks for the socks/Edward&Bella poster!!! It was great and it's on the back of my door [ so only I can see it!!!]
Edward Cullen: He sees you when ur sleeping and knows when ur awake!
All my love, dearest darlings!
Asiat
oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
So I decided that my good mood, depressive music [what a combo!], and my next book... have all contributed to this post!
my next work is To Grind Coffee Beans...
Hugh Arington and Alexandria Forthing are just two teens in their small town. Hugh's family is abnormally rich and Hugh has everything he could ask for. Alex is very poor. She doesn't invite anyone over because her house is falling apart... like no door or anything. Alex focuses on keeping her mom's medication coming and putting food on the table.
Overall it seems that Alex has a much worse off life than Hugh, but not so! Hugh's family looses all their money in a recession and Hugh resorts to drinking to relieve his stress. It's his 'scape goat' because his parents are becoming abusive and he just wants out. Hugh and Alex have been friends forever, but suddenly Hugh is pushing her away. She decides that it's time she told the truth. She shows him her house and her mom - who is dying of luekemia.
Hugh is distraught at how much worse Alex's life is - and he never knew.
Suddenly, he thinks he's such a bad person - how terrible he's been to Alex because he skipped breakfast because he woke up late and she hasn't eaten for two days. He thinks it's terrible so he drinks again...
And suddenly he's drunk and in the front seat of a car on the highway and he amazingly ends up on the side of the road with only a broken leg.
Alex is driving down the highway coming home from a party and sees a familiar car on the side of the road. When she stops, who is there but Hugh?
At the hospital, Alex becomes Hugh's closest friend - even closer than they ever were because Hugh's falling in love with Alex.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw
It's really sweet, but doesn't end nearly as happily as any of you suppose... Yes, Vortican no perfect ending here.
Okay, ending there!
BTW, thanks for the socks/Edward&Bella poster!!! It was great and it's on the back of my door [ so only I can see it!!!]
Edward Cullen: He sees you when ur sleeping and knows when ur awake!
All my love, dearest darlings!
Asiat
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
About 5 Announcments
So, Christmas is RIGHT around the corner and I got started putting up the tree and decorations. It looks good, but I'm kinda disappointed that I was the one who had to take everything down and put it up... eek!
So, OFFICIALLY: Finding D.J. is FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the runner up for next book to be finished is "To Grind Coffee Beans" and THANK MY BROTHER FOR THE NAME! for once, I can claim that he has a brain... amazing.
Now, this is just one thing to add, music has been my BFF for the past week and To Grind Coffee Beans has a theme song: Shine by Plain White T's. It's a sad story with a VERY good ending, but not necessarily happy... Some will be startled by the normalcy... no suicide, no emo, no death, just loss of money, highschool, massive parties without parental supervision and with tons of beer. you'll know what i mean ater the song, but I'll brief you later.
Vortican: Welcome back, and yes I knew of Evanescence, but I never really turned to them for theme songs. I sound SO cheesy with the damn songs though!
MORE IS TO COME! after i get my grubby hands on the laptop on Christmas afternoon... I actually get Internet access and a webcam! SKYPE everybody!
All my love,
Asiat
So, OFFICIALLY: Finding D.J. is FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the runner up for next book to be finished is "To Grind Coffee Beans" and THANK MY BROTHER FOR THE NAME! for once, I can claim that he has a brain... amazing.
Now, this is just one thing to add, music has been my BFF for the past week and To Grind Coffee Beans has a theme song: Shine by Plain White T's. It's a sad story with a VERY good ending, but not necessarily happy... Some will be startled by the normalcy... no suicide, no emo, no death, just loss of money, highschool, massive parties without parental supervision and with tons of beer. you'll know what i mean ater the song, but I'll brief you later.
Vortican: Welcome back, and yes I knew of Evanescence, but I never really turned to them for theme songs. I sound SO cheesy with the damn songs though!
MORE IS TO COME! after i get my grubby hands on the laptop on Christmas afternoon... I actually get Internet access and a webcam! SKYPE everybody!
All my love,
Asiat
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Christmas Presents and Theme Songs
IT's starting to look nothing like Christmas.
The tree isn't up.
The ornaments are in the spare room.
And my bedroom is a mess and full of my new art project.
Oi! Doulbe Oi! and Triple Oi!
So, my Christmas present [supposedly, God knows, it'll probably be late...] is a laptop. And, in refrence to the theme songs, I've found theme songs for both Jason and Delilah... If Finding D.J. ever became a movie, these songs would impossibly HAVE to be included.
Oh, by the way, D.J. has four more chapters to go!!!! aren't I excited?? of COURSE!
okay, so Jason's theme song is Hello by Evanescence and Delilah's is Tourniquet by Evanescence. Evanescence is extraordinarily good at tragic love songs, so I turned to them for a little tragic help.
so, Hello lyrics:
Playground
School bell rings
Again.
Rain clouds come to play
Again.
Has no one told you
She's not breathing.
Hello,
I'm your mind
Giving you someone to talk to.
Hello.
If I smile and don't believe.
Soon I know I'll wake,
From this dream.
Don't try to fix me,
I'm not broken.
Hello.
I'm the lie
Living for you so you can hide.
Don't cry.
Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping.
Hello, I'm still here.
All that's left of yesterday.
I'll post torniquet later... I've got to go!
personal note: haunted
All my love,
Asiat
The tree isn't up.
The ornaments are in the spare room.
And my bedroom is a mess and full of my new art project.
Oi! Doulbe Oi! and Triple Oi!
So, my Christmas present [supposedly, God knows, it'll probably be late...] is a laptop. And, in refrence to the theme songs, I've found theme songs for both Jason and Delilah... If Finding D.J. ever became a movie, these songs would impossibly HAVE to be included.
Oh, by the way, D.J. has four more chapters to go!!!! aren't I excited?? of COURSE!
okay, so Jason's theme song is Hello by Evanescence and Delilah's is Tourniquet by Evanescence. Evanescence is extraordinarily good at tragic love songs, so I turned to them for a little tragic help.
so, Hello lyrics:
Playground
School bell rings
Again.
Rain clouds come to play
Again.
Has no one told you
She's not breathing.
Hello,
I'm your mind
Giving you someone to talk to.
Hello.
If I smile and don't believe.
Soon I know I'll wake,
From this dream.
Don't try to fix me,
I'm not broken.
Hello.
I'm the lie
Living for you so you can hide.
Don't cry.
Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping.
Hello, I'm still here.
All that's left of yesterday.
I'll post torniquet later... I've got to go!
personal note: haunted
All my love,
Asiat
Thursday, December 18, 2008
the Long, Ranting Blog Post
Yes, my ranting at everything from how my hair won't go right to artificial Christmas trees is going to take a while, but you guys deserve a nice long blog post, right?
I'll take that as a yes :D
so, my hair won't go right... not much more i can say about that, though i LOVE my haircut.
Tomorrow is the last day of school [before a long, much-needed vacation...] and I'm having chips... and food... what more could I ask? and I'll sleep during The Polar Express [zzzzzzzzz]
Speaking of foodstuff, I'm currently enjoying mango juice [yum] and white chocolate chips [hypperrrrrrrr]
okay, artificial trees it is! [aka, i ran out of random things to write about :D]
I'm really behind on Christmas decorating... I kinda shoved all the decorating and cleaning to the 23... late on the 23... oh well! Yes, we will still have have the same boring artificial tree and well, that's really all that's Christmas-y in my house.... that i know of :D
All my love,
Asiat
I'll take that as a yes :D
so, my hair won't go right... not much more i can say about that, though i LOVE my haircut.
Tomorrow is the last day of school [before a long, much-needed vacation...] and I'm having chips... and food... what more could I ask? and I'll sleep during The Polar Express [zzzzzzzzz]
Speaking of foodstuff, I'm currently enjoying mango juice [yum] and white chocolate chips [hypperrrrrrrr]
okay, artificial trees it is! [aka, i ran out of random things to write about :D]
I'm really behind on Christmas decorating... I kinda shoved all the decorating and cleaning to the 23... late on the 23... oh well! Yes, we will still have have the same boring artificial tree and well, that's really all that's Christmas-y in my house.... that i know of :D
All my love,
Asiat
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
to Amanda
Happy Birthday Amanda!!!
Another thing, i LOVE my new haircut. It's amazing. I look really good :D [Tato: "If you do say so yourself"]
All my love,
Asiat
Another thing, i LOVE my new haircut. It's amazing. I look really good :D [Tato: "If you do say so yourself"]
All my love,
Asiat
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
ONE MORE DAY!!!
Till two things:
THE PLAY... "Santa's Christmas Vacation"
and.....
A HAIR CUT!!! well, a trim and layers :D
I can't wait at all... why isn't it tomorrow? I want to rid myself of the nervous gitters that accompany singing in front of a live audience....
HELP ME!!!
All my love,
Asiat
THE PLAY... "Santa's Christmas Vacation"
and.....
A HAIR CUT!!! well, a trim and layers :D
I can't wait at all... why isn't it tomorrow? I want to rid myself of the nervous gitters that accompany singing in front of a live audience....
HELP ME!!!
All my love,
Asiat
Monday, December 15, 2008
Hints and a Count-Down
This is really easy. My hint is of what I'm listening to.
"Are ya ready hey! Are ya satisfied how long can you stand the heat...
"An' another one gone, and another one gone..."
Any guesses?
Count-Down: Two days till my 8th grade Christmas play... God help me last that long.
*hint hint*
There's NO budy
Like SNOWbuddies,
There's NO buddy
We KNOW!!!
EEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ears hurt!
All my love,
Asiat
"Are ya ready hey! Are ya satisfied how long can you stand the heat...
"An' another one gone, and another one gone..."
Any guesses?
Count-Down: Two days till my 8th grade Christmas play... God help me last that long.
*hint hint*
There's NO budy
Like SNOWbuddies,
There's NO buddy
We KNOW!!!
EEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ears hurt!
All my love,
Asiat
Friday, December 12, 2008
Happy Songs :D
Ever had a song that ALWAYS makes you happy? I have three right now.
Kodachrome - Paul Simon
Me & Julio Down by the School Yard - Paul Simon
You & Me - Plain White T's
Now, because I have TIME!!!
You and me,
We like the same kind of music.
That's why we,
Make a good you and me.
We got STYLE, baby,
We know how to use it.
That's why we,
Make a good you and me.
You know what I'm going to say
Before my mouth even makes a
Sound and that's why we make
A good you and me...
You and me,
We couldn't stand being normal.
That's why we,
Make a good you and me.
We both laugh,
At the most random situations.
That's the key, baby,
Don't you agree?
[REFRAIN!!]
and now I'm too bored to finish this... Mebe you should go look it up on YouTube :D
All my love,
Asiat
Kodachrome - Paul Simon
Me & Julio Down by the School Yard - Paul Simon
You & Me - Plain White T's
Now, because I have TIME!!!
You and me,
We like the same kind of music.
That's why we,
Make a good you and me.
We got STYLE, baby,
We know how to use it.
That's why we,
Make a good you and me.
You know what I'm going to say
Before my mouth even makes a
Sound and that's why we make
A good you and me...
You and me,
We couldn't stand being normal.
That's why we,
Make a good you and me.
We both laugh,
At the most random situations.
That's the key, baby,
Don't you agree?
[REFRAIN!!]
and now I'm too bored to finish this... Mebe you should go look it up on YouTube :D
All my love,
Asiat
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Blogger's Block :D
So, I have to say this: I have no clue about what to say! So you are being bombarded by a bunch of quizzes.
Name one trend you would like to start:
oooooooooooooo EVERYONE should wear awesome, freaky-colored toe-socks with flip-flops.
If your life were a SONG TITLE, what would it be?
this is actually hard... She's Crazier Than My Mom. The Gal Who Don't Love Love... any suggestions???
One dorky trait you have?
I bit my lip when in deep thought.
Most hours you've gone without sleep?
48. minus the napping on the bus and the airplane. pure agony.
Funniest looking animal?
Duck-billed Platupus. or a llama.
Best thing bout parties?
SO the people there!
Worst thing about parties?
Same thing. people can suck!
Okay, chances are that you will be bombarded by more quizzes later on. :D
Love you, Minions!
All my love,
Asiat
Name one trend you would like to start:
oooooooooooooo EVERYONE should wear awesome, freaky-colored toe-socks with flip-flops.
If your life were a SONG TITLE, what would it be?
this is actually hard... She's Crazier Than My Mom. The Gal Who Don't Love Love... any suggestions???
One dorky trait you have?
I bit my lip when in deep thought.
Most hours you've gone without sleep?
48. minus the napping on the bus and the airplane. pure agony.
Funniest looking animal?
Duck-billed Platupus. or a llama.
Best thing bout parties?
SO the people there!
Worst thing about parties?
Same thing. people can suck!
Okay, chances are that you will be bombarded by more quizzes later on. :D
Love you, Minions!
All my love,
Asiat
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
WILLIAM!!!
Alas, I am his biggest fan!!! Shakespeare 4eva!
And Olivia... ever heard of sharing??? there are many wide spectrums/genres of literature. I believe we can have one preference [romance] or many [romance, classic, adventure, and comedy] viola!
I love Shakespeare... there's somthing about the way that his simple plots can translate to everyday life. Romeo and Juliet for example, a guy who comes to a party with hopes to crash it and meets a beautiful girl. They fall in love, but their love is a forbidden one. Then , in a last attempt to keep their love, they flee... and they both die. Now I could translate that into a thousand different stories with the same plot and a million different time periods.
Ha ha ha ha!
All my love,
Asiat
And Olivia... ever heard of sharing??? there are many wide spectrums/genres of literature. I believe we can have one preference [romance] or many [romance, classic, adventure, and comedy] viola!
I love Shakespeare... there's somthing about the way that his simple plots can translate to everyday life. Romeo and Juliet for example, a guy who comes to a party with hopes to crash it and meets a beautiful girl. They fall in love, but their love is a forbidden one. Then , in a last attempt to keep their love, they flee... and they both die. Now I could translate that into a thousand different stories with the same plot and a million different time periods.
Ha ha ha ha!
All my love,
Asiat
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Get thee to a nunnery!
My Literature class is FINALLY!!! doing Shakespeare. I'm so happy :D
Alas, the Reduced Shakespeare Company has brought a funny side to Shakespeare and viola! I actually understand what Shakespeare is saying.
I was watching Hamlet... another all-time fav and I was watching one of the greatest scenes in the entire abridged version.
"Get the to a nunnery!" Hamlet exclaims.
They bring a lady from the audience and to get her 'in character' they divide the audience into a couple of sections.
Sec. 1: The Ego: runs back and forth on the stage.
Sec. 2: The Id: puts both arms over head and screams: "Maybe... Maybe NOT!!!" over and over again.
Sec. 3: The Male Rep.: screams "Get thee to an nunnery!"
and another one that you can go see yourself.
All my love,
Asiat
Alas, the Reduced Shakespeare Company has brought a funny side to Shakespeare and viola! I actually understand what Shakespeare is saying.
I was watching Hamlet... another all-time fav and I was watching one of the greatest scenes in the entire abridged version.
"Get the to a nunnery!" Hamlet exclaims.
They bring a lady from the audience and to get her 'in character' they divide the audience into a couple of sections.
Sec. 1: The Ego: runs back and forth on the stage.
Sec. 2: The Id: puts both arms over head and screams: "Maybe... Maybe NOT!!!" over and over again.
Sec. 3: The Male Rep.: screams "Get thee to an nunnery!"
and another one that you can go see yourself.
All my love,
Asiat
Monday, December 1, 2008
December 1st.
I think we can officially start thinking about Christmas... but I'm actually not that hyped up for it.
So whilst a completely new wave of depression... I started and completed Finding D.J. up to the fourteenth chapter...
Is there such a thing as blog writer's block?
The reason I ask is because that's why I haven't been able to post anything... I can't think of anything to say.
Okay, bringing up something completely random, remember that quiz book?? Pepsi or Cola? well here are some things from that :D Enjoy!
I picked these because I know you can all answer these.
What's your favorite sugary road food?
Um... Trail Mix with M&M's.
What's your favorite salty road food?
Chips. soooo chips.
If you could meet any movie star, who would it be?
That's REALLY hard. um... Rob Pattinson, Kirsten Stewart, Richard Armitage, Jonas Armstrong, Joe Armstrong, J.J. Field [ think that's his name... ] and Rupert [forgot his name too... Mr. Wentworth...]
I love how all of those people are guys 'cept Kirsten. wow.
Are you related to anyone famous?
Does my uncle count? after all, he did try and unite the Orthodox and Catholic churches with the Patriarch...
Maybe my grandad? he published seven books...
yeah, maybe not.
Do you think that's enough for now???
All my love,
Asiat
So whilst a completely new wave of depression... I started and completed Finding D.J. up to the fourteenth chapter...
Is there such a thing as blog writer's block?
The reason I ask is because that's why I haven't been able to post anything... I can't think of anything to say.
Okay, bringing up something completely random, remember that quiz book?? Pepsi or Cola? well here are some things from that :D Enjoy!
I picked these because I know you can all answer these.
What's your favorite sugary road food?
Um... Trail Mix with M&M's.
What's your favorite salty road food?
Chips. soooo chips.
If you could meet any movie star, who would it be?
That's REALLY hard. um... Rob Pattinson, Kirsten Stewart, Richard Armitage, Jonas Armstrong, Joe Armstrong, J.J. Field [ think that's his name... ] and Rupert [forgot his name too... Mr. Wentworth...]
I love how all of those people are guys 'cept Kirsten. wow.
Are you related to anyone famous?
Does my uncle count? after all, he did try and unite the Orthodox and Catholic churches with the Patriarch...
Maybe my grandad? he published seven books...
yeah, maybe not.
Do you think that's enough for now???
All my love,
Asiat
Thursday, November 27, 2008
HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!
Alas, the dreaded day of tukey's has come.
I present you with two poems.
The Knight's Lament
You will forgive me
My harsh cruel ways.
You will excuse
For wanting you to stay.
Leaving you, O gentle one,
Is like leaving a baby sparrow,
Who knows not the danger,
Of a hunter's arrow.
Being parted from you,
O other half of my soul.
I feel like a piece
Of old blackend coal.
Who is to say,
That we are all fools in love.
Who are they to say that,
To my precious little dove.
I know not what lies aheah.
I would save you from hurt and pain.
But alas I cannot.
My gentle rain.
Short and sweet.
Angel & Devil
In the silence of the night
There you are, so perfect.
Your white garments against
my black robes.
I see our differences
And the few things
That are common between us.
I see how pure;
how perfect;
how quietly lovely you are.
I see what a jealous,
Uncaring,
vile creature I am
How good it is that I,
a devil, am with you,
a white angel.
I have held your
diamond white tears
In the palm of my hand.
I have held and pieced together
your broken heart.
And, in return, you -
You, the angel,
have put together
the puzzle of my heart.
You have solved mysteries
I did not know where there.
You saved me from myself.
I love you more than
the weight of the sky.
I love the silent
white angel.
The angel that loves
the devil.
Long and sweet :D
All my love, Minions,
Asiat
I present you with two poems.
The Knight's Lament
You will forgive me
My harsh cruel ways.
You will excuse
For wanting you to stay.
Leaving you, O gentle one,
Is like leaving a baby sparrow,
Who knows not the danger,
Of a hunter's arrow.
Being parted from you,
O other half of my soul.
I feel like a piece
Of old blackend coal.
Who is to say,
That we are all fools in love.
Who are they to say that,
To my precious little dove.
I know not what lies aheah.
I would save you from hurt and pain.
But alas I cannot.
My gentle rain.
Short and sweet.
Angel & Devil
In the silence of the night
There you are, so perfect.
Your white garments against
my black robes.
I see our differences
And the few things
That are common between us.
I see how pure;
how perfect;
how quietly lovely you are.
I see what a jealous,
Uncaring,
vile creature I am
How good it is that I,
a devil, am with you,
a white angel.
I have held your
diamond white tears
In the palm of my hand.
I have held and pieced together
your broken heart.
And, in return, you -
You, the angel,
have put together
the puzzle of my heart.
You have solved mysteries
I did not know where there.
You saved me from myself.
I love you more than
the weight of the sky.
I love the silent
white angel.
The angel that loves
the devil.
Long and sweet :D
All my love, Minions,
Asiat
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
2 hours... 10 pages later...
Chapter 1 – Regrets
No explanations. No good-byes. That was the way I wanted to go. But I didn’t want to go. I had to think of people like Nathan and Erin who had kept some pieces of my world together.
But I did want to go. This would be the most important and last decision I ever made.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub, contemplating what Hamlet had contemplated: To be or not to be, that is the question. More simply said, suicide.
I thought of the good things that might counteract the bad: Nathan, Erin, my parents, my brother, Rob, my sister, Charlene. My countless friends would miss me terribly, or would they? Apparently, I had become a cynical depressed idiot with no future and no hope. I had caused them all pain. I wasn’t worth the love they put into me. The bad weighted down the good.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub, a knife in one hand and stared at my pale white wrist. The summer heat hit me and I shifted uncomfortably.
I made two slices on my left wrist.
Chapter 2 – Blood
Blood poured out of my body, down the white side of the bathtub, and down the drain. It was such a pretty red. I stared; fascinated that it was such a pretty color. Crimson; red; mahogany. Such a dark rich color.
I heard a door slam. I knew that I wasn’t alone now. I had to hurry this up or they would find me and stop me.
I made a third cut.
Someone ran up the steps and opened the door to my room. They knocked on my bathroom door.
Chapter 3 – Die
I wished I would die. Whoever it was knocked louder. They tried the door, only to find it locked.
“Delilah? You there?” It was Nathan, my best friend, my gentle giant. The door rattled under Nathan’s massive pressure. “Delilah, open up.”
The room faded and became unstable except for the sound pounding on my door.
I fainted when Nathan broke the door down.
Chapter 4 – Saved
I woke up on my bed. Since my dad was a doctor, I guessed we stayed at home. Where he could take care of his kid without letting the entire town know that his daughter was suicidal. Nathan sat by my side holding my hand in both of his. His eyes were red-rimmed. Another tear slid down his unshaven cheek. He looked up and saw my eyes open.
“Thank God,” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “Please don’t do that again. What would I do without you, bud?”
“You would survive, Nathan,” I croaked. “You always do.”
“I couldn’t without you, Delilah,” Nathan said, looking in my eyes. “I can’t bounce back without you. That’s why I came in the first place.”
I took his hand and squeezed gently, “What is it, Nathan?” The tears came pouring, but Nathan brushed them away. He straightened his broad shoulders. Always the big strong teddy bear. He would learn that we all had our weaknesses.
“Leah,” Nathan said slowly. “She’s been acting all funny and I don’t know why. Then, this morning, she told me that she needed to slow down. I got so angry, Delilah. It was either demolish a wall or come to you.” He laughed harshly.
“You’re not finished,” I said quietly.
“Am I?” Nathan asked. “I love her so much. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Leah – why is she running away from me?” Nathan looked at me.
“Theory,” I said lifting my cut hand. Nathan nodded. “What if she’s not sure you love her? How many times in the last week have you told her you love her?”
“Not enough,” Nathan said, answering his own question. “Any other theories?”
“What if she’s not sure you’re the one? What if she wants to smell the roses before she decides you’re her Mr. Right?”
Nathan looked at me. “What if I’m not Mr. Right? What if I’ve wasted all my time waiting?”
“Honestly, Nathan, if you’re meant to be then you’ll end up with her. You have plenty of time. No need to rush.”
Nathan smiled and kissed my hand. “Thank you, Delilah. Thanks so much.”
“No problem, darling,” I replied.
“And please don’t ever do that. If you need someone, my cell’s going to me on. Don’t be surprised if I call.”
“Okay. Thanks for everything, Nathan.”
No explanations. No good-byes. That was the way I wanted to go. But I didn’t want to go. I had to think of people like Nathan and Erin who had kept some pieces of my world together.
But I did want to go. This would be the most important and last decision I ever made.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub, contemplating what Hamlet had contemplated: To be or not to be, that is the question. More simply said, suicide.
I thought of the good things that might counteract the bad: Nathan, Erin, my parents, my brother, Rob, my sister, Charlene. My countless friends would miss me terribly, or would they? Apparently, I had become a cynical depressed idiot with no future and no hope. I had caused them all pain. I wasn’t worth the love they put into me. The bad weighted down the good.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub, a knife in one hand and stared at my pale white wrist. The summer heat hit me and I shifted uncomfortably.
I made two slices on my left wrist.
Chapter 2 – Blood
Blood poured out of my body, down the white side of the bathtub, and down the drain. It was such a pretty red. I stared; fascinated that it was such a pretty color. Crimson; red; mahogany. Such a dark rich color.
I heard a door slam. I knew that I wasn’t alone now. I had to hurry this up or they would find me and stop me.
I made a third cut.
Someone ran up the steps and opened the door to my room. They knocked on my bathroom door.
Chapter 3 – Die
I wished I would die. Whoever it was knocked louder. They tried the door, only to find it locked.
“Delilah? You there?” It was Nathan, my best friend, my gentle giant. The door rattled under Nathan’s massive pressure. “Delilah, open up.”
The room faded and became unstable except for the sound pounding on my door.
I fainted when Nathan broke the door down.
Chapter 4 – Saved
I woke up on my bed. Since my dad was a doctor, I guessed we stayed at home. Where he could take care of his kid without letting the entire town know that his daughter was suicidal. Nathan sat by my side holding my hand in both of his. His eyes were red-rimmed. Another tear slid down his unshaven cheek. He looked up and saw my eyes open.
“Thank God,” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “Please don’t do that again. What would I do without you, bud?”
“You would survive, Nathan,” I croaked. “You always do.”
“I couldn’t without you, Delilah,” Nathan said, looking in my eyes. “I can’t bounce back without you. That’s why I came in the first place.”
I took his hand and squeezed gently, “What is it, Nathan?” The tears came pouring, but Nathan brushed them away. He straightened his broad shoulders. Always the big strong teddy bear. He would learn that we all had our weaknesses.
“Leah,” Nathan said slowly. “She’s been acting all funny and I don’t know why. Then, this morning, she told me that she needed to slow down. I got so angry, Delilah. It was either demolish a wall or come to you.” He laughed harshly.
“You’re not finished,” I said quietly.
“Am I?” Nathan asked. “I love her so much. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Leah – why is she running away from me?” Nathan looked at me.
“Theory,” I said lifting my cut hand. Nathan nodded. “What if she’s not sure you love her? How many times in the last week have you told her you love her?”
“Not enough,” Nathan said, answering his own question. “Any other theories?”
“What if she’s not sure you’re the one? What if she wants to smell the roses before she decides you’re her Mr. Right?”
Nathan looked at me. “What if I’m not Mr. Right? What if I’ve wasted all my time waiting?”
“Honestly, Nathan, if you’re meant to be then you’ll end up with her. You have plenty of time. No need to rush.”
Nathan smiled and kissed my hand. “Thank you, Delilah. Thanks so much.”
“No problem, darling,” I replied.
“And please don’t ever do that. If you need someone, my cell’s going to me on. Don’t be surprised if I call.”
“Okay. Thanks for everything, Nathan.”
Chapter 5 – Explanations
This is my one-on-one talk with you, reader. This summer that I’m telling you about and the summer before it were the hardest summers of my life. Shall I tell you why?
My mother is really into volunteer work and offered me and my friends up as helpers at our Church’s camp for depressed or in-need teens. At camp, I met Matt Kriston. He was a drop-dead gorgeous heroine addict. He had so many problems. At first, our late night talks scared me – and then they didn’t. We talked and fell in love. I thought he was getting better.
He wasn’t.
Imagine my horror when I walked into his room that night. There was a note by his bedstand:
Dear Delilah,
It’s not your fault, darling. I’m not wroth it. I never was. I’m so so sorry. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I don’t want to ruin your future with mine.
Forgive me,
Matt
I was there when his heart stopped. Heroine overdose. I was never the same. Nathan and Erin knew what happened. But since then, I’d been plagued by nightmares of his cold, dead, white body. The haunting look of his glassy sightless black eyes. He haunted me like a ghost. I could hear him whisper that note in my ear – even when I was awake.
It’s not your fault… It’s not your fault, darling… It’s not your fault…
But it was my fault. If I had been there, I could have stopped him. I could have told him how much I loved him. Could have said how much I cared. But I didn’t. I watched Matt die in my arms. I told him to stay with me but he didn’t.
One of the most horrible things that summer. I kissed his cold dead lips and cried.
Even worse, if that’s possible, was the look his mom gave me. Matt’s stepdad brushed my shoulder hard when I walked past.
“Bitch,” he whispered.
I was going to let that slide, but when I looked back and saw the smug look on his face, something lit up.
“Excuse me, sir,” I said turning to face him. “What did you just call me?”
“I called you what you deserve to be called, devil,” he seethed. “You made him do this.”
“I did not,” I retorted.
“Oh really?” he asked, turning towards me, walking back. “Have you read the letters he sent us? I don’t think so.” He flung a pile of papers held together by a rubber band. They fell at my feet with an ominous thud. Matt’s stepdad stalked away, Matt’s mom sobbing into his shoulder.
I bent down and picked up the pack of letters. I held them close to my chest. When I went back to my room, I sat on the bed and cried as I read.
Dear Mom,
I would ask Dad, but he’s not here. What does it feel like to fall in love? I met this girl – Delilah Jones – she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. She’s not afraid to talk to me, but I know that I’ll ruin her life. I don’t want to do that to her, she has a future; a real chance. I know that I can’t stay away from her. She’s just so amazing. I feel like overdosing just so that she can move on. I want her to live even if I have to die. I love you , Mom. Please don’t hate her. She made my life worth it.
-Matt
I really started sobbing then. Erin was my roommate and found me. She held me and rocked me to sleep. She made sure that she and I had the same classes in school. She listened to me. She saved me; stopped me; loved me.
I didn’t even know that it was her twin brother that would save my life.
Chapter 6 – Hope
“No, Dad,” I said quietly. “You can’t make me go back there.”
“I can and will, Delilah. You’re seventeen and still in my house,” Dad said while Mom shoved clothes into a suitcase. “Nathan, Erin, and Leah are going. You won’t be alone.”
“Dad, I’ll be going as a patient, not a volunteer,” I said loudly. “I’ll be the mental wreck that everyone makes fun of.”
“No you won’t,” Dad said taking my hand. “Delilah, honey, I love you, but this isn’t you. You need help.”
“Dad,” I said exasperated. “Camp is for drug addicts and people who are suicidal because their families are falling apart, not for a girl who’s sad about her boyfriend’s death.”
“You expect to tell me that what you did back there isn’t disturbing?”
“Dad!” I yelled. “I was trying to end your pain. All I’ve done is caused you pain. I’m the disappointment here.” Dad looked in my eyes. I watched the tears come.
“Oh, Delilah,” Mom said fiercely. “How could you say that? We love you. We just want you to get help.”
I just held my tongue. I hurt them by telling them that I was worthless – but what else was I? Certainly not pretty or graceful. Nor funny, nor thoughtful. You could hardly call me sane.
Dad turned to me. “I hope you’ll get better. All I can do is hope now.”
Hope. I had a single glimmer of hope when I held that knife. Hope. I had hope to end my family’s pain.
Chapter 7 – Car Ride
Nathan picked me up that Saturday. Nathan helped me into the car.
“Leah only came for you,” he whispered. His eyes pleaded.
“I’ll talk to her,” I whispered.
He mouthed “Thank you” to me.
I sat in the back seat with Erin. Leah’s brother, Mike, and his friend, Martin, sat with the luggage in front of us. In the front, Nathan was driving with Leah on the passenger’s side.
Erin hugged me, but was disrupted by her cell phone.
“Hello?” she asked.
“What the hell did you do to my car, Erin?” a voice shouted.
“Hi, Jason,” she said winking at me. “I only stole your key and replaced it.”
“You are the foulest twin ever!” he yelled. “Where am I going to sit?”
“In back,” Erin replied. “I’ll sit on Delilah’s lap and you can sit next to us.”
“Are you trying to hook me up… again?” he asked.
“Shhh, not so loud,” Erin said while I gave her a look. “Delilah here looks happier than you sound.”
Nathan had by now started driving back towards Erin’s house. He stopped by a car that was on the street and the guy next to it. If I expected someone like Erin, I was wrong. Very deeply wrong. Jason had spiky brown hair and dazzling green eyes. His eyes flashed as he dumped his luggage in the car and climbed into the back seat.
“Hey, Jas!” Erin said sliding to sit on my lap.
“Hello, O Annoying One,” he replied sourly. Jason buckled his seat belt and turned to Erin with one eyebrow raised.
“Oh! Jason, this is Delilah Jones,” she said quickly. “Delilah, this is my annoying brother, Jason.”
Jason held out his hand and I shook it.
“I didn’t even know you had a twin, Erin,” I said quietly. Hason cocked his head at me.
“You’re in my English class, aren’t you?” he asked in a quiet rich voice.
“I don’t know, you’re in Mrs. Cellars?” I asked “Fourth period?”
“Yeah, she can be a pain, Mrs. Cellars,” he said rolling his eyes.
“She’s okay to me, but I like English,” I replied.
I spent the rest of the ride there listening to Erin and Jason argue about his car.
Now tell me [this applies to everyone, but Olivia] that this isn't awesome. I even added some color for emphasis.
You'll be getting two poems and some Forbidden Fruit... Good Luck.
All my love,
Asiat
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Officially..
Officially Team E.J.E. [Edward, Jasper, Emmett]
Haven't been posting for the sole reason that I've been writing till like 1 AM
Sorry, but until I have like six hours to type all of the stuff, it's not going to be posted : (
All my love,
Asiat
Haven't been posting for the sole reason that I've been writing till like 1 AM
Sorry, but until I have like six hours to type all of the stuff, it's not going to be posted : (
All my love,
Asiat
Sunday, November 23, 2008
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took a page out of Olivia's book... literally.
So, before I go all-Deon, I am doing some Twilight love.
By far the... fill-in-the-blank.... character.
James:
and: FYI, he has this great tattoo on his hip... gah!
And we thought he was the gayest idiot alive when we first saw him.... how wrong we were...
Okay, next, Edward:
apparently he has these great lips [Olivia...] and I believe that my favorite scene has to be changed...
To Biology class... Edward catches Bella's scent and randomly looks like he's going to throw up...
SOOOO FUNNY : )
oh and another favortie part is that of the 'sparkly Edward'... I thought it would be cheesily eerie, but it wasn't that bad!
and i can't find any pictures of it : (
i think both Olivia and I agree, for once... TEAM EMMETT!!!!
Well, I'd better not keep you waiting any longer.
All my love,
Asiat
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Didn't know : )
Now why didn't I find Taylor Swift sooner? Oh well, she's now officially helped me out of a hole... I had to get depressed to finish Treaty. And I wasn't really willing to do that, so I typed in love songs... and viola! Love Story by Taylor Swift... listened to it and out popped out Treaty : )
Now, still working on the details of the Clement story, which now has a working name: Apartment No. 14. And Clement in no longer agoraphobic... and you all sigh... wouldn't it be better if he was??? no, it wouldn't because HOW THE HELL IS CLEMENT GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ADELE??? and Adele is a current working name... I'm going to get around to posting the other names.
And, I've decided while I'm working on this, why not do a quartet? [I know the term doesn't apply, but it's four books!] so now, i'm formulating names for Clarissa's prince charming [or Edward Cullen, which ever you prefer.] Current working name for him is Jonas. Any other suggestions will be appreciated.
All my love,
Asiat
Now, still working on the details of the Clement story, which now has a working name: Apartment No. 14. And Clement in no longer agoraphobic... and you all sigh... wouldn't it be better if he was??? no, it wouldn't because HOW THE HELL IS CLEMENT GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ADELE??? and Adele is a current working name... I'm going to get around to posting the other names.
And, I've decided while I'm working on this, why not do a quartet? [I know the term doesn't apply, but it's four books!] so now, i'm formulating names for Clarissa's prince charming [or Edward Cullen, which ever you prefer.] Current working name for him is Jonas. Any other suggestions will be appreciated.
All my love,
Asiat
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Vampires : ]
I can't imagine why Olivia thinks that these vamps need to be leashed. It's only temporary till my math teacher gives Forbidden Fruit back. And then... you've got another second not-so-interesting-nor-lovey-dovey chapter waiting for ya..
but after that... whoo, it's just smoke and fi-are!
All my love,
Asiat
but after that... whoo, it's just smoke and fi-are!
All my love,
Asiat
Monday, November 17, 2008
ON A ROLL!!!
I think this is sorta like the anti-writers block. I've been writing like crazy. And I just got another idea... though possibly not as interesting as D.J. or Forbidden Fruit.
The story of Clement and Clarissa John - twins born in 1861 and turned into vampires in 1877. Of course, they're not the only ones. Their brother and sister, Clarence and Cathy, are also vampires, but they're older and stronger. Unfortunately, vampire law says that there are to be no groups of vampires bigger than three. Clement, Clarissa, Clarence, and Cathy see each other but once every twenty years; it's not hard to wait when you're immortal. Another part of vampire law is that you must search for your other half... you're love. That part is, of course, only for vampire's happiness, but for the John siblings, it's a hard life searching for the one that completes you.
Clement and Clarissa live in a cemetery. Clement is somewhat agoraphobic and Clarissa does not leave him alone much. Clement has other reasons for not coming out of his tomb. He has a limited control over himself, he's afraid that if he comes out of his tomb, he'll kill someone. So Clarissa stays by him and even puts a thick piece of crystal so that he can see outside without actually going outside. Clarissa even goes so far as to make an agreement with the cemetery that buried them. They have a night time watchman/woman. Someone to keep them company. It helps to not be so lonely.
In steps Adele McGraw, the so-called night watchman [no Robin Hood pun intended : )]. Adele is a homeless 16 year old runaway. She gets a home and food by doing this job. At first she doesn't like it much, but after meeting the physically dazzling Clarissa and her agoraphobic brother Clement, she loves her job.
Of course, there has to be a climax, Clement and Clarissa are very powerful vampires. Everyone wants there services. And, seeing as Clement and Adele are in love, someone... namely Henry Reed, sees the chance to make Clement work for him.
And for two seconds, it worked... And we all love Clarissa because she makes Clement realize that he's been running away needlessly. Clement goes to Henry, to end it once and for all. To claim his other half as his own. Of course, Henry's not going down without a fight. He breaks Adele's neck... Clement is heart broken as he sees Adele dying, and the idea pops. Turn his only love into what he is. It eliminates his agoraphobia, he couldn't kill anyone with Adele, his immaculate angel [yes, he actuallly uses those words...]. He realizes that he can love Adele the way he wants to... to love her the way she deserves to be loved : )
Happy Endings : ) *swoon*
All my love,
Asiat
PS: You like???
The story of Clement and Clarissa John - twins born in 1861 and turned into vampires in 1877. Of course, they're not the only ones. Their brother and sister, Clarence and Cathy, are also vampires, but they're older and stronger. Unfortunately, vampire law says that there are to be no groups of vampires bigger than three. Clement, Clarissa, Clarence, and Cathy see each other but once every twenty years; it's not hard to wait when you're immortal. Another part of vampire law is that you must search for your other half... you're love. That part is, of course, only for vampire's happiness, but for the John siblings, it's a hard life searching for the one that completes you.
Clement and Clarissa live in a cemetery. Clement is somewhat agoraphobic and Clarissa does not leave him alone much. Clement has other reasons for not coming out of his tomb. He has a limited control over himself, he's afraid that if he comes out of his tomb, he'll kill someone. So Clarissa stays by him and even puts a thick piece of crystal so that he can see outside without actually going outside. Clarissa even goes so far as to make an agreement with the cemetery that buried them. They have a night time watchman/woman. Someone to keep them company. It helps to not be so lonely.
In steps Adele McGraw, the so-called night watchman [no Robin Hood pun intended : )]. Adele is a homeless 16 year old runaway. She gets a home and food by doing this job. At first she doesn't like it much, but after meeting the physically dazzling Clarissa and her agoraphobic brother Clement, she loves her job.
Of course, there has to be a climax, Clement and Clarissa are very powerful vampires. Everyone wants there services. And, seeing as Clement and Adele are in love, someone... namely Henry Reed, sees the chance to make Clement work for him.
And for two seconds, it worked... And we all love Clarissa because she makes Clement realize that he's been running away needlessly. Clement goes to Henry, to end it once and for all. To claim his other half as his own. Of course, Henry's not going down without a fight. He breaks Adele's neck... Clement is heart broken as he sees Adele dying, and the idea pops. Turn his only love into what he is. It eliminates his agoraphobia, he couldn't kill anyone with Adele, his immaculate angel [yes, he actuallly uses those words...]. He realizes that he can love Adele the way he wants to... to love her the way she deserves to be loved : )
Happy Endings : ) *swoon*
All my love,
Asiat
PS: You like???
Sunday, November 16, 2008
*dies*
And you all probably think that I've just finished Midnight Sun: WRONG!
Forbidden Fruit
Chapter 1
Awakened
I drifted out of my sleep. My eyes were closed, letting dappled sunlight fall on my eyelids. There was someone in the room crooning softly and a small infant giggling. The person had a deep, rich voice – I knew it well. That voice always made my heart quicken. I opened my eyes, almost blinded by the intense light.
There was my darling love, crooning over a child that was half of me and half of him. I strained to hear exactly what eh was saying.
“Aren’t you beautiful, Eliza?” he said in a soft ding-song voice. “You inherited you Mama’s best features: her eyes are the same dazzling blue as yours, my Eliza. Come, look, let’s see just how you are like your mother.” He placed his hands gently around the little girl’s stomach. She giggled with delight. My love rubbed his nose softly against my little daughter’s.
“See,” he whispered. “You even have her laugh.” He took her in his arms and turned towards me, his lips nuzzling into her cheek playfully. Then he saw me. I think his mouth fell open.
“I’m sorry, beloved Eliza,” he said, putting her back into her crib. “Your mother is too beautiful.”
He was at my side in three long steps. He sat at the edge of my bed and placed his hands on either side of my face. He gently leaned towards me and kissed my forehead.
After he had kissed my forehead, he stayed close, his fingers smoothing my hair. I reached my fingers into his long black hair and brought his face close. I looked deep into his blue-grey eyes. I touched my nose to his.
“Deon,” I whispered. He grinned wildly at me.
“I thought you’d never say that again,” he whispered touching my lips. “What is it, my beautiful wife?” I smiled.
“Only you can say that, love,” I replied. “I want nothing but to see you and our daughter in my arms.” Deon bent lower and kissed me until I was breathless. He kissed me again and again. He showed no intention of stopping until he heard little whimpers from our daughter’s crib.
“Eliza, you can’t stand all the attention on your mother, can you?” Deon said, relinquishing his hold on me. He picked her up and placed her in my arms. He slid under the covers and wound his arms around us.
I knew how we must look: a baby with rosy cheeks and a full head of black hair ever for her young age; all framing sparkling blue eyes and thick black lashes. A mother with her black hair unadorned in a black braid, looking particularly plain, since she had once been amongst the courts; a man; a father, his blue-grey eyes caressing the two upon which he smiled.
I marveled at how perfectly we all fit. I was the perfect shape to fit Eliza in my arms with my head tucked beneath Deon’s chin. We fit together perfectly.
I heard footsteps and then there was a knocking at out door. I silently said thanks that I was dressed. Deon kissed my cheek.
“I would not be able to let you go if I didn’t know I could have you tonight,” he whispered, his grin widening.
He stood and opened the door.
“Brother Cairn,” he greeted, grasping a man – my old friend – into a tight hug.
“Deon,” Cairn replied. “Is Shamnal awake?”
“Why?” Deon asked, his voice turning to steel.
“She is to meet someone, Abbess’s orders,” Cairn said quietly. “I also have a message from the Abbess for Shamnal.” Cairn breathed. “Is she awake?”
“Indeed I am,” I said from my place on the bed. “How are you, Cairn? Who is it that I am supposed to meet?” Cairn hesitated at the door; Deon grabbed the shoulder of his robe and pulled him into the room. He was followed by a priestess in a bright yellow robe.
Cairn came close, hugging me.
“I am well, Shamnal,” he said quietly. He looked at the ground and his cheeks flushed.
“Who is your friend?” I asked nodding toward the yellow-robed girl.
“Oh,” Cairn said, he looked upon the priestess with obvious affection. “This is Gabri – Priestess Gabri.”
The girl blushed and came forward.
“A pleasure,” I said, smiling. Eliza squirmed. “Gabri, come. My daughter craves attention.”
Gabri came and sat next to me on the bed, taking Eliza from my arms, rocking and humming to her.
“You have such a beautiful child,” she whispered. I reached over and brushed my finger against Eliza’s rosy pink cheeks.
“Thank you, Gabri,” I said quietly. Gabri returned my now sleeping daughter to my arms. Gabri stood.
“I think we will be leaving now,” she said firmly. “It has been so good to meet you, Shamnal.”
“And I, you,” I said smiling.
They were in the doorway when Gabri turned to Cairn and nodded. Cairn reddened and turned back towards me.
“I’m sorry, I almost forgot!” he exclaimed. He rushed towards me and slipped a piece of parchement between my fingers. “From the Abbess.”
Cairn left; his eyes only for Gabri. Deon closed the door an placed Eliza in her crib. Our baby slept so peacefully. Deon returned to me, wrapping his arms around my now slender waist.
“What’s the note say?” he asked. I silently unfolded it.
“I have no idea,” I replied. “Would you do the honors?” I handed him the paper to read. He took it and skimmed it, his brows furring.
“All it says is: What do you think?” Deon said confused. “It’s signed by the abbess.”
“I think I know,” I said thoughtfully. Deon wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. My skin tingled where he kissed me.
“Are you going to enlighten me?” he asked; his voice muffled. I lifted his hair away from his face and brushed his cheek.
“The Abbess is wondering if Gabri is a good match for Cairn.” I said quietly. “What do you think?” Deon shifted so that I was huddled into his chest and his cheek brushed against mine.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But the Abbess was asking you not me. Nothing I say counts here.”
“But it does, my love,” I pointed out. “You are the other half of me. I cannot make a decision without listening to all of me.”
“In that case,” Deon said teasing, “I have to listen to my other half’s opinion too.” I bit my lip thoughtfully.
“I think it would be a good match,” I said. Then I laughed. “He has an obvious affection for her. And she is quiet and knows that she can’t everything. I’d like to see how she interacts with Cairn, thought.”
“Mrs. Shamnal Matchmaker,” Deon murmured. I smiled.
We spent the rest of the day entwined in each other’s arms – sometimes our daughter was in my arms; sometimes sleeping in her crib. We laughed softly and crooned in inaudible tones. Before the sun set, a messenger came, the Abbess wished to have dinner with me. Deon helped me dress into an elegant, midnight blue dress and a black shawl.
When the time came for me to leave, Deon kissed me. He took Eliza from my arms and I let her go reluctantly kissing her cheek.
“I will miss you,” I murmured. “After awakening, you can hardly blame me for not wanting to leave.”
Deon smiled, “I know, but do your duty. The Abbess has done much for us.”
“I wish, Deon, that just one you would not call your mother the Abbess,” I said exasperated. “She asks you not to and she is your mother.”
“My love, my mother never raised me, she admits so herself,” Deon replied. “She knows I call her the Abbess only because I never knew her as a mother.”
“I lifted my hands in defeat, “I will not fight over it. It just saddens me you do not acknowledge her my her real title. Yes, she serves the goddess, but she also put a lot of effort into finding you a suitable home. Without that home I may never have met you, love,”
Deon kissed the palms of my raised hands. “I will consider it for your benefit, my love. Now, go, before you are late.”
I did another of my customary unexpected gestures. I took Deon’s hand. He kissed mine and I, in return, kissed his. I left, with Deon watching from the doorway and Eliza in his arms.
My childhood, spent within these walls. These walls had frightened me before. Now I saw the life that resided there: moss, spiders, insects. From the most invaluable creature to the young priestesses flitting her in and there in their yellow robes. Walking down the frozen halls, I had only one thought: There was life every where.
You KNOW you love me!
All my love,
Asiat
Forbidden Fruit
Chapter 1
Awakened
I drifted out of my sleep. My eyes were closed, letting dappled sunlight fall on my eyelids. There was someone in the room crooning softly and a small infant giggling. The person had a deep, rich voice – I knew it well. That voice always made my heart quicken. I opened my eyes, almost blinded by the intense light.
There was my darling love, crooning over a child that was half of me and half of him. I strained to hear exactly what eh was saying.
“Aren’t you beautiful, Eliza?” he said in a soft ding-song voice. “You inherited you Mama’s best features: her eyes are the same dazzling blue as yours, my Eliza. Come, look, let’s see just how you are like your mother.” He placed his hands gently around the little girl’s stomach. She giggled with delight. My love rubbed his nose softly against my little daughter’s.
“See,” he whispered. “You even have her laugh.” He took her in his arms and turned towards me, his lips nuzzling into her cheek playfully. Then he saw me. I think his mouth fell open.
“I’m sorry, beloved Eliza,” he said, putting her back into her crib. “Your mother is too beautiful.”
He was at my side in three long steps. He sat at the edge of my bed and placed his hands on either side of my face. He gently leaned towards me and kissed my forehead.
After he had kissed my forehead, he stayed close, his fingers smoothing my hair. I reached my fingers into his long black hair and brought his face close. I looked deep into his blue-grey eyes. I touched my nose to his.
“Deon,” I whispered. He grinned wildly at me.
“I thought you’d never say that again,” he whispered touching my lips. “What is it, my beautiful wife?” I smiled.
“Only you can say that, love,” I replied. “I want nothing but to see you and our daughter in my arms.” Deon bent lower and kissed me until I was breathless. He kissed me again and again. He showed no intention of stopping until he heard little whimpers from our daughter’s crib.
“Eliza, you can’t stand all the attention on your mother, can you?” Deon said, relinquishing his hold on me. He picked her up and placed her in my arms. He slid under the covers and wound his arms around us.
I knew how we must look: a baby with rosy cheeks and a full head of black hair ever for her young age; all framing sparkling blue eyes and thick black lashes. A mother with her black hair unadorned in a black braid, looking particularly plain, since she had once been amongst the courts; a man; a father, his blue-grey eyes caressing the two upon which he smiled.
I marveled at how perfectly we all fit. I was the perfect shape to fit Eliza in my arms with my head tucked beneath Deon’s chin. We fit together perfectly.
I heard footsteps and then there was a knocking at out door. I silently said thanks that I was dressed. Deon kissed my cheek.
“I would not be able to let you go if I didn’t know I could have you tonight,” he whispered, his grin widening.
He stood and opened the door.
“Brother Cairn,” he greeted, grasping a man – my old friend – into a tight hug.
“Deon,” Cairn replied. “Is Shamnal awake?”
“Why?” Deon asked, his voice turning to steel.
“She is to meet someone, Abbess’s orders,” Cairn said quietly. “I also have a message from the Abbess for Shamnal.” Cairn breathed. “Is she awake?”
“Indeed I am,” I said from my place on the bed. “How are you, Cairn? Who is it that I am supposed to meet?” Cairn hesitated at the door; Deon grabbed the shoulder of his robe and pulled him into the room. He was followed by a priestess in a bright yellow robe.
Cairn came close, hugging me.
“I am well, Shamnal,” he said quietly. He looked at the ground and his cheeks flushed.
“Who is your friend?” I asked nodding toward the yellow-robed girl.
“Oh,” Cairn said, he looked upon the priestess with obvious affection. “This is Gabri – Priestess Gabri.”
The girl blushed and came forward.
“A pleasure,” I said, smiling. Eliza squirmed. “Gabri, come. My daughter craves attention.”
Gabri came and sat next to me on the bed, taking Eliza from my arms, rocking and humming to her.
“You have such a beautiful child,” she whispered. I reached over and brushed my finger against Eliza’s rosy pink cheeks.
“Thank you, Gabri,” I said quietly. Gabri returned my now sleeping daughter to my arms. Gabri stood.
“I think we will be leaving now,” she said firmly. “It has been so good to meet you, Shamnal.”
“And I, you,” I said smiling.
They were in the doorway when Gabri turned to Cairn and nodded. Cairn reddened and turned back towards me.
“I’m sorry, I almost forgot!” he exclaimed. He rushed towards me and slipped a piece of parchement between my fingers. “From the Abbess.”
Cairn left; his eyes only for Gabri. Deon closed the door an placed Eliza in her crib. Our baby slept so peacefully. Deon returned to me, wrapping his arms around my now slender waist.
“What’s the note say?” he asked. I silently unfolded it.
“I have no idea,” I replied. “Would you do the honors?” I handed him the paper to read. He took it and skimmed it, his brows furring.
“All it says is: What do you think?” Deon said confused. “It’s signed by the abbess.”
“I think I know,” I said thoughtfully. Deon wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. My skin tingled where he kissed me.
“Are you going to enlighten me?” he asked; his voice muffled. I lifted his hair away from his face and brushed his cheek.
“The Abbess is wondering if Gabri is a good match for Cairn.” I said quietly. “What do you think?” Deon shifted so that I was huddled into his chest and his cheek brushed against mine.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “But the Abbess was asking you not me. Nothing I say counts here.”
“But it does, my love,” I pointed out. “You are the other half of me. I cannot make a decision without listening to all of me.”
“In that case,” Deon said teasing, “I have to listen to my other half’s opinion too.” I bit my lip thoughtfully.
“I think it would be a good match,” I said. Then I laughed. “He has an obvious affection for her. And she is quiet and knows that she can’t everything. I’d like to see how she interacts with Cairn, thought.”
“Mrs. Shamnal Matchmaker,” Deon murmured. I smiled.
We spent the rest of the day entwined in each other’s arms – sometimes our daughter was in my arms; sometimes sleeping in her crib. We laughed softly and crooned in inaudible tones. Before the sun set, a messenger came, the Abbess wished to have dinner with me. Deon helped me dress into an elegant, midnight blue dress and a black shawl.
When the time came for me to leave, Deon kissed me. He took Eliza from my arms and I let her go reluctantly kissing her cheek.
“I will miss you,” I murmured. “After awakening, you can hardly blame me for not wanting to leave.”
Deon smiled, “I know, but do your duty. The Abbess has done much for us.”
“I wish, Deon, that just one you would not call your mother the Abbess,” I said exasperated. “She asks you not to and she is your mother.”
“My love, my mother never raised me, she admits so herself,” Deon replied. “She knows I call her the Abbess only because I never knew her as a mother.”
“I lifted my hands in defeat, “I will not fight over it. It just saddens me you do not acknowledge her my her real title. Yes, she serves the goddess, but she also put a lot of effort into finding you a suitable home. Without that home I may never have met you, love,”
Deon kissed the palms of my raised hands. “I will consider it for your benefit, my love. Now, go, before you are late.”
I did another of my customary unexpected gestures. I took Deon’s hand. He kissed mine and I, in return, kissed his. I left, with Deon watching from the doorway and Eliza in his arms.
My childhood, spent within these walls. These walls had frightened me before. Now I saw the life that resided there: moss, spiders, insects. From the most invaluable creature to the young priestesses flitting her in and there in their yellow robes. Walking down the frozen halls, I had only one thought: There was life every where.
You KNOW you love me!
All my love,
Asiat
Friday, November 14, 2008
MORE Immortal Words:
I JUST HAVE TO!
"And by the way, I adore you... in frightening, dangerous ways."
BTW: just so i don't get sued: NO COPYWRIT INFRINGMENT INTENDED!!!
All my love,
Asiat
"And by the way, I adore you... in frightening, dangerous ways."
BTW: just so i don't get sued: NO COPYWRIT INFRINGMENT INTENDED!!!
All my love,
Asiat
Immortal Words:
"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"
NO: I AM NOT reading Twilight for the fourth time.
NO: I AM NOT listening to a Twilight trailer for the eightieth time.
YES: I am reading what very little [approx. 264 pgs] of what Stephenie Meyers has published of Midnight Sun [squee squee squee!] on her website.
Tabitha: SQUEEEEEEEEEE! yes it's really THAT goooood : )
I'm only on pg. 114! and i started an hour ago....
That shouldn't be mildly disturbing : ))))
All my love,
Asiat
NO: I AM NOT reading Twilight for the fourth time.
NO: I AM NOT listening to a Twilight trailer for the eightieth time.
YES: I am reading what very little [approx. 264 pgs] of what Stephenie Meyers has published of Midnight Sun [squee squee squee!] on her website.
Tabitha: SQUEEEEEEEEEE! yes it's really THAT goooood : )
I'm only on pg. 114! and i started an hour ago....
That shouldn't be mildly disturbing : ))))
All my love,
Asiat
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I think this applies:
so i finished Breaking Dawn [and I'm sure you are all happy that I'm not lighting this blog on fire with girly squees] and i think this particular phrase from the Hunchback of NotreDame appllies:
"I'm free! I'm free! DANG IT!"
[from the Disney Movie of course!]
I'm free, but not more Edward Cullen : ( boo hoo, but plenty of ideas : )
All my love,
Asiat
"I'm free! I'm free! DANG IT!"
[from the Disney Movie of course!]
I'm free, but not more Edward Cullen : ( boo hoo, but plenty of ideas : )
All my love,
Asiat
More Speed Writing : )
as if I didn't have enough : )
This is putting Apologize [the song] and D.J.... which I'm still revising and putting it together thus giving you.... sadness.
Chapter 1 [i already did this : )]
Electricity.
I remember the way Matt described us. A driving force of nature. A bond so strong no one could break it. Electricity.
What happened to that? It disappeared when Matt did. I mean that literally - on the last day of camp, Matt disappeared. There was a search and everything, but nothing ever happened. No one ever found him. I refused to give up on Matt, he was too special - who knew if I would ever find someone like him that completed my life the way he had? They call it intervention. I wouldn't give up so they created this force... this magnet that blew up the electricity. This lie that he was dead - to stop me from continuing my search for Matt. They: my parents, my friends. All but the select few: my sister, Charlene, my best friends, Nathan and Erin... they refused to let me give up because they knew what he meant to me.
But what happened to Matt? I'll never know, because he probably IS dead, but I refuse that concept. If anything, I think that destiny works its magic as long as your patient enough to see what it is. But without Matt, where was the electricity that had run my life?
If life ended last year, then did it start again this year? Did it start when I met another electric person?
After Matt's disappearance, I lapsed in and out of depression. Nathan and Erin adapted to my ever-changing moods with gradulating speed - soon they were able to get my moods just by looking at me and responded accordingly. Nathan was the ruler of bear hugs and Erin the empress of shopping sprees and critic of clothes. They tried to help me and in many ways they did. I was on the long way to recovery - recovery from Matt.
It sometimes seemed as if I needed rehab to get over Matt, but sometimes I didn't want my medication.
So it all started at four A.M.
There's another short story here: Matt had this sweatshirt that he wore everywhere. When he started dating me, he told me - showed me - that the night after he had met me he had written something in that sweatshirt: I love D.J. Translation: I love Danielle Jones. He loved me. When he disappeared, Erin had given that sweatshirt to me.
I usually used it as a pillow. It still smelled like Matt's cologne. A musky, dark scent that I adored.
Okay, all I've got time for : )
Love you all!
All my love,
Asiat
This is putting Apologize [the song] and D.J.... which I'm still revising and putting it together thus giving you.... sadness.
Chapter 1 [i already did this : )]
Electricity.
I remember the way Matt described us. A driving force of nature. A bond so strong no one could break it. Electricity.
What happened to that? It disappeared when Matt did. I mean that literally - on the last day of camp, Matt disappeared. There was a search and everything, but nothing ever happened. No one ever found him. I refused to give up on Matt, he was too special - who knew if I would ever find someone like him that completed my life the way he had? They call it intervention. I wouldn't give up so they created this force... this magnet that blew up the electricity. This lie that he was dead - to stop me from continuing my search for Matt. They: my parents, my friends. All but the select few: my sister, Charlene, my best friends, Nathan and Erin... they refused to let me give up because they knew what he meant to me.
But what happened to Matt? I'll never know, because he probably IS dead, but I refuse that concept. If anything, I think that destiny works its magic as long as your patient enough to see what it is. But without Matt, where was the electricity that had run my life?
If life ended last year, then did it start again this year? Did it start when I met another electric person?
After Matt's disappearance, I lapsed in and out of depression. Nathan and Erin adapted to my ever-changing moods with gradulating speed - soon they were able to get my moods just by looking at me and responded accordingly. Nathan was the ruler of bear hugs and Erin the empress of shopping sprees and critic of clothes. They tried to help me and in many ways they did. I was on the long way to recovery - recovery from Matt.
It sometimes seemed as if I needed rehab to get over Matt, but sometimes I didn't want my medication.
So it all started at four A.M.
There's another short story here: Matt had this sweatshirt that he wore everywhere. When he started dating me, he told me - showed me - that the night after he had met me he had written something in that sweatshirt: I love D.J. Translation: I love Danielle Jones. He loved me. When he disappeared, Erin had given that sweatshirt to me.
I usually used it as a pillow. It still smelled like Matt's cologne. A musky, dark scent that I adored.
Okay, all I've got time for : )
Love you all!
All my love,
Asiat
Saturday, November 8, 2008
I never thought I'd say this...
But, gosh, Nickleback is helping me overcome some minor dificulty with Prison Cell!!
Don'tcha love it??
FYI: Sphinxy dear isn't going to last long if she doesn't call me.
INSIDE JOKE: Sphinx.. I now've got shoes like yours : ) the a-hem me shoes.
GEEZ.. I want the love life of a Vamp. noooo restrictions. I want the self-control of Bella and her beauty too [since that's one thing I've never had] and I want the mood-tasting of Jasper.
All combined in one.. wouldn't that be great? Or maybe I shoud just ask to be Renesme and Jasper... works better.
All my love,
Asiat
Don'tcha love it??
FYI: Sphinxy dear isn't going to last long if she doesn't call me.
INSIDE JOKE: Sphinx.. I now've got shoes like yours : ) the a-hem me shoes.
GEEZ.. I want the love life of a Vamp. noooo restrictions. I want the self-control of Bella and her beauty too [since that's one thing I've never had] and I want the mood-tasting of Jasper.
All combined in one.. wouldn't that be great? Or maybe I shoud just ask to be Renesme and Jasper... works better.
All my love,
Asiat
Friday, November 7, 2008
Help 4 Tabitha...
This is probably the best advice I've ever given or recieved [yeh, give Olivia the credit!]
scribd.com
It's for free and you can join and read all your favorites [a.k.a. Twilight Saga] online.
Yeh, you'll ruin your eyes, but it's worth it.
All my love,
Asiat
scribd.com
It's for free and you can join and read all your favorites [a.k.a. Twilight Saga] online.
Yeh, you'll ruin your eyes, but it's worth it.
All my love,
Asiat
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Vortican..
Vortican, for once, is right... I was wowing about some raciness in B.D. and yes, quite frankly, I was enjoying it emensely! Why not? They ARE married.
All my love,
Asiat
PS: The whole Renesme alive and kicking.... it could be considered as both good AND bad. Reneseme is growing at the speed of light [i.e. Bella is two weeks pregnant and the size of a nine-month-pregnant woman...] and that she is like.. freaking DYING!
so that's the BAD.
The GOOD is that Bella has another object to love : ))))
I give her credit, who WOULDn't love her own child? and Edward just MOANS about 'it' calling 'it' a 'thing'... he's not very... um... optomistic?
All my love,
Asiat
PS: The whole Renesme alive and kicking.... it could be considered as both good AND bad. Reneseme is growing at the speed of light [i.e. Bella is two weeks pregnant and the size of a nine-month-pregnant woman...] and that she is like.. freaking DYING!
so that's the BAD.
The GOOD is that Bella has another object to love : ))))
I give her credit, who WOULDn't love her own child? and Edward just MOANS about 'it' calling 'it' a 'thing'... he's not very... um... optomistic?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Next Addition
Taking a small break from the extremely intense Breaking Dawn and Way Back Into Love [you know, Music&Lyrics?] and blogging to you all...
WOW.
WOW
CAN I SAY IT ENOUGH??? WOWOOWOWOWOWOWWW!!!
When did THAT happen??? my writing is going to be VERY eratic right now... and I'm going to work on D.J. tonight. and Prison Cell is on hold... for now.
No Writer's Block for weeks now [am I cured?].
And GOD!!! WOW... Jacob... Book TWO... and i'm on page 159.
I'll keep you posted!
All my love, [yeh i switched back : )]
Asiat
WOW.
WOW
CAN I SAY IT ENOUGH??? WOWOOWOWOWOWOWWW!!!
When did THAT happen??? my writing is going to be VERY eratic right now... and I'm going to work on D.J. tonight. and Prison Cell is on hold... for now.
No Writer's Block for weeks now [am I cured?].
And GOD!!! WOW... Jacob... Book TWO... and i'm on page 159.
I'll keep you posted!
All my love, [yeh i switched back : )]
Asiat
um... er...
and the above puts it BLUNTLY!
I'm reading Breaking Dawn and.. um... er... i found out that Renesme is alive and kicking...
KREEEPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace, Love, Vamps,
Asiat
I'm reading Breaking Dawn and.. um... er... i found out that Renesme is alive and kicking...
KREEEPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace, Love, Vamps,
Asiat
: )))
Wild Smiles : )))
No, I am not happy, Obama won... geez what worse president could we get?
BUT I AM happy...
A) I finished Eclipse.... *rar rar rar*
B) I am starting Breaking Dawn [yeh, i DID skip ahead, but why ever not?]
C) There are many advantages to being married ['nuff said : )]
Now back to filling you in on my life:
My computer died... and it couldn't have picked a worse time. Prison Cell has been hand written now take THAT!
My Editor [sphinx] is not answering her cell..... geez how am i supposed to post Prison Cell now??? that and I like to rant.
This Saturday, I have to go to Oakland Catholic for my Scholarship Entrance Exam... my mom thinks I'll pass with flying colors, but I am not so optomistic.
I am writing like a mad dog, only for the purpose of getting to Breaking Dawn faster... Stephenie Meyers: YOU ARE BRILLIANT!
Peace, Love, and Vampires, my dears,
Asiat
No, I am not happy, Obama won... geez what worse president could we get?
BUT I AM happy...
A) I finished Eclipse.... *rar rar rar*
B) I am starting Breaking Dawn [yeh, i DID skip ahead, but why ever not?]
C) There are many advantages to being married ['nuff said : )]
Now back to filling you in on my life:
My computer died... and it couldn't have picked a worse time. Prison Cell has been hand written now take THAT!
My Editor [sphinx] is not answering her cell..... geez how am i supposed to post Prison Cell now??? that and I like to rant.
This Saturday, I have to go to Oakland Catholic for my Scholarship Entrance Exam... my mom thinks I'll pass with flying colors, but I am not so optomistic.
I am writing like a mad dog, only for the purpose of getting to Breaking Dawn faster... Stephenie Meyers: YOU ARE BRILLIANT!
Peace, Love, and Vampires, my dears,
Asiat
Monday, November 3, 2008
Utter Randomness ; )
now THIS is RANDOM!!
okay, still reading Eclipse [God, Stephenie Meyers, could Edward be any less tempting??] and oooooo you will just scream..
Yes Vortican... SQUEES all round!
Me: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU: WHAT THE HELL did she do now?
ME: AHHH!!!! Edward proposed!!!!! EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
*pants*
okay, still got to get that hyperness out :)
Peace, Love, and your own Edward Cullen,
Asiat
okay, still reading Eclipse [God, Stephenie Meyers, could Edward be any less tempting??] and oooooo you will just scream..
Yes Vortican... SQUEES all round!
Me: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU: WHAT THE HELL did she do now?
ME: AHHH!!!! Edward proposed!!!!! EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
*pants*
okay, still got to get that hyperness out :)
Peace, Love, and your own Edward Cullen,
Asiat
HEY!!! more randomness : )
well, i don't have TONS of randomness, just tons of news.
FIRST: I've got to revise D.J.
SECOND:
ME: GUESS WHAT??!!!
YOU: okay, spilling galore!
ME: okay I'm actually writing Prison Cell [I'm sure Vortican remembers THIS one!] and it's really going well!!!!
YOU: OMG!!! WHAN ARE YOU GOING TO POST IT???!!!
ME: Soon enough. You'd love it though!
Peace, Love, and Vampires,
Asiat
FIRST: I've got to revise D.J.
SECOND:
ME: GUESS WHAT??!!!
YOU: okay, spilling galore!
ME: okay I'm actually writing Prison Cell [I'm sure Vortican remembers THIS one!] and it's really going well!!!!
YOU: OMG!!! WHAN ARE YOU GOING TO POST IT???!!!
ME: Soon enough. You'd love it though!
Peace, Love, and Vampires,
Asiat
Saturday, November 1, 2008
HEY DARLINGS!!!
How long has it been? TWO WEEKS!!!
Why? I GOT GROUNDED!!!
Why? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS [call me if you seriously want to know... not like I did drugs or anything I'm ashamed of [well kinda sorta.]]
Anyways, D.J. is being revised [a thousand, million apologizes, dears but it had to happen] and still NO WRITER'S BLOCK!!! thank GOD.
Okay, g2g, I'm keeping my 'welcome back' post short.
Peace, Love, and Vampires,
Asiat
Why? I GOT GROUNDED!!!
Why? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS [call me if you seriously want to know... not like I did drugs or anything I'm ashamed of [well kinda sorta.]]
Anyways, D.J. is being revised [a thousand, million apologizes, dears but it had to happen] and still NO WRITER'S BLOCK!!! thank GOD.
Okay, g2g, I'm keeping my 'welcome back' post short.
Peace, Love, and Vampires,
Asiat
Friday, October 31, 2008
For All you Idiots : )
Okay, I'll start again, for all you idiots who have no clue who 'Abbey' is from NCIS.. well:
She's really great... funny too! and exactly like... OMA [agar yeps!] Erin!!
'Nother thing: will be at my editor's house for a All Hallows' Eve PAR-tay! [severed limbs *_*]
Peace, Love, and
VAMPIRES!!!Happy Halloween!
Asiat
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Finding D.J., Chapter 4
Chapter 3 (Baseball)
The next morning, I was fine, except for a large blue bruise on my head. I still had coordination problems that morning and I wasn't so sure I could make it down the stairs. I dressed at an almost snail-like pace. I could hear everyone dowstairs at breakfast. Jason's door had a 'do not disturb' sign on it. I passed by and headed for the stairs.
"Whoa, whoa whoa," a voice exclaimed. "Where do you think you're going? I did tell you that you're not supposed to be alone in case of another tripping spree, didn't I?"
"No," I said quietly, reminding Jason to lower his voice. "You negelcted to inform me of that tidbit of information." We headed down the stairs; I lost my balance at least five times. Maybe it was my head, but it could have been the extreme gothic way that Jason dressed. I had barely noticed yesterday, but today, it was clear that Jason could be a gothic model if he really wanted to.
his gorgeous brown hair was slightly spiked; he had a tight shirt that emphasized every little muscle on his chest and arms; semi-tight black skinny leg jeans and black sneakers...the total revelation of a gothic god.
What?! Had I just thought that? Gothic god?
I shook my head and Jason noticed.
"Are you alright?" he said, his hand touching my arm.
"Yeah," I said, "fine."
"Okay," Jason replied, a little deterred.
We joined the cafeteria crowd. Jason, at my suggestion, detoured to Mike and Martin so that they wouldn't get the wrong idea about me. Of course, Jason took it a little too seriously and said that if Mike and Martin thought that we were going out, he would be happy to comply and make it the truth. One word rang sound through my body, making me feel nauseated and numb at the same time. I sat next to Erin, who was the only person who really knew what Matt had meant to me. And she knew because she had a crush on him at the same time.
"Danielle!" she said giving me a huge hug. She was sort of like Jason, but with black dyed hair, bangs, braids, tight white shirts, black pants ot mini skirts, and a couple of tattoos; she brought gothic to the extreme. If Erin could be in "NCIS", she would be Abbey - she would definately love that job.
"Hey," I said. I nodded to Mike, "Looks like you got someone's attention."
"Really? Do you think that Mike likes me?" Erin said, slightly annoyed.
"Yeah, I think he does. Does that bother you?"
"I don't know, he's just...too sweet," Erin said.
"Trust me, I know what you mean," I said quietly.
Erin lowered her voice.
"I think my brother loves you," she whispered.
"I think love is a little strong," I said, hoping that she was right.
"No, I think love is the right word - he practically drools over you."
"I honestly don't think I'm ready, Erin. I still...you know - feel like I'm some betraying bastard...every time I get close to Jason." I said it like she would know - know that I did like Jason, but my heart just wasn't going to allow it.
"He's not coming back...face it," she said. "I know I'm being harsh, but my brother's a great guy. And besides, he needs someone to shame him for how bad he treats himself."
"Really?" I said quietly. "How bad is he...really?"
"Really, really?" Erin said leaning in closer. "You probably don't know this, but Jason does a lot of things that no one can make him stop. He still writes suicide notes."
"How do you know?"
"I'm the one who finds them before he acts on them. I'm the one that hides them from his friends so that they won't know how bad he really is..." Erin's voice turned to pleading. "I don't think he can deal with another rejection, but don't tell him I said that...say you're extremely observant or something. He doesn't realize what it'd do to us...but I think you could help."
Erin and I stayed in silence for a moment, then started chatting about our day-to-day lives and how annoying everyone was. I didn't even notice when Jason appeared next to me.
"So, what are you two chatting about?" he asked.
"Our boyfriends," Erin said, winking at me. I smiled.
"Rar," I growled. Jason lauged and Erin's eyebrows shot up.
"Flirting!" Erin mouthed at me.
"Well, how are they going?" he asked nudging me in the ribs.
"Wouldn't you like to know!" Erin said with mock horror.
"Actually," he said, "I'd love to know. I bet Erin doesn't have one."
Erin put her hands up, "Guilty as charged; single as a glass bottle in the ocean."
"You know, there are thousands of glass bottles in the ocean by now," I said.
"I know, but I', never alone, so that works," Erin replied. "How about you Danielle?" Erin asked it so Jason wouldn't have to.
"Single," I said. "Single like a snake in the desert."
"Now that's an analogy that expresses lonliness," Erin said, serious.
"Well, you know the truth, Erin," I replied.
"Is there something I'm missing here?" Jason asked, just barely glancing at Erin, but keeping his intense green eyes on me. "Danielle?"
Erin looked at me, "You didn't tell him?"
I shook my head.
"What?" Jason asked, the anger clear in his voice.
Erin wet her lips, "Well, under the circumstances, I think this is a strictly private matter that I can't discuss without permission."
"Nice verbage, Erin," Jason said.
"Thanks," Erin replied. Jason nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Matt?"
I nodded and let him hug me for a while. He was warm and friendly...and my heart nearly broke from the sense of betrayal.
The morning passed by in a blur of boring talks and Jason and I passing notes back and forth. It was near the end of talks...
Are you going to tell me - like what we were talking about at breakfast? Jason wrote.
I liked his handwriting; it was neat.
I might, I wrote back. It's another one of those not-so-interesting stories, you know?
I figured as much.
Did you?
I did.
I might, if I get out of baseball.
You know you will...even if you don't want to.
Thanks for giving me the warning.
You're welcome.
That was pretty much the end of our note-passing frenzy. After another loathsome talk, Jason shuttled me off to the nurse's office. Nurse Helen looked up from her ten-ton pile of paperwork, a smile lighting her face at the distraction.
"Feeling any better Danielle?" she asked cheerily, though genuinely concerened.
I was about to open my mouth, but Jason talked over me.
"She's a little dizzy," he said quickly. "Can I have a pass for two?"
Nurse Helen saw that he had been playfully flitring with me earlier. Of course she got 'hints'.
"Sure sweetheart," she said, like a pill of poisoned sugar. Helen called up the Coach. Coach was a man who thought that sports were everything. If you coulfn't do sports, you were pretty much useless in his eyes. I had my fair share of fights over him trying to get me to be athletic. It still didn't work for him.
The next morning, I was fine, except for a large blue bruise on my head. I still had coordination problems that morning and I wasn't so sure I could make it down the stairs. I dressed at an almost snail-like pace. I could hear everyone dowstairs at breakfast. Jason's door had a 'do not disturb' sign on it. I passed by and headed for the stairs.
"Whoa, whoa whoa," a voice exclaimed. "Where do you think you're going? I did tell you that you're not supposed to be alone in case of another tripping spree, didn't I?"
"No," I said quietly, reminding Jason to lower his voice. "You negelcted to inform me of that tidbit of information." We headed down the stairs; I lost my balance at least five times. Maybe it was my head, but it could have been the extreme gothic way that Jason dressed. I had barely noticed yesterday, but today, it was clear that Jason could be a gothic model if he really wanted to.
his gorgeous brown hair was slightly spiked; he had a tight shirt that emphasized every little muscle on his chest and arms; semi-tight black skinny leg jeans and black sneakers...the total revelation of a gothic god.
What?! Had I just thought that? Gothic god?
I shook my head and Jason noticed.
"Are you alright?" he said, his hand touching my arm.
"Yeah," I said, "fine."
"Okay," Jason replied, a little deterred.
We joined the cafeteria crowd. Jason, at my suggestion, detoured to Mike and Martin so that they wouldn't get the wrong idea about me. Of course, Jason took it a little too seriously and said that if Mike and Martin thought that we were going out, he would be happy to comply and make it the truth. One word rang sound through my body, making me feel nauseated and numb at the same time. I sat next to Erin, who was the only person who really knew what Matt had meant to me. And she knew because she had a crush on him at the same time.
"Danielle!" she said giving me a huge hug. She was sort of like Jason, but with black dyed hair, bangs, braids, tight white shirts, black pants ot mini skirts, and a couple of tattoos; she brought gothic to the extreme. If Erin could be in "NCIS", she would be Abbey - she would definately love that job.
"Hey," I said. I nodded to Mike, "Looks like you got someone's attention."
"Really? Do you think that Mike likes me?" Erin said, slightly annoyed.
"Yeah, I think he does. Does that bother you?"
"I don't know, he's just...too sweet," Erin said.
"Trust me, I know what you mean," I said quietly.
Erin lowered her voice.
"I think my brother loves you," she whispered.
"I think love is a little strong," I said, hoping that she was right.
"No, I think love is the right word - he practically drools over you."
"I honestly don't think I'm ready, Erin. I still...you know - feel like I'm some betraying bastard...every time I get close to Jason." I said it like she would know - know that I did like Jason, but my heart just wasn't going to allow it.
"He's not coming back...face it," she said. "I know I'm being harsh, but my brother's a great guy. And besides, he needs someone to shame him for how bad he treats himself."
"Really?" I said quietly. "How bad is he...really?"
"Really, really?" Erin said leaning in closer. "You probably don't know this, but Jason does a lot of things that no one can make him stop. He still writes suicide notes."
"How do you know?"
"I'm the one who finds them before he acts on them. I'm the one that hides them from his friends so that they won't know how bad he really is..." Erin's voice turned to pleading. "I don't think he can deal with another rejection, but don't tell him I said that...say you're extremely observant or something. He doesn't realize what it'd do to us...but I think you could help."
Erin and I stayed in silence for a moment, then started chatting about our day-to-day lives and how annoying everyone was. I didn't even notice when Jason appeared next to me.
"So, what are you two chatting about?" he asked.
"Our boyfriends," Erin said, winking at me. I smiled.
"Rar," I growled. Jason lauged and Erin's eyebrows shot up.
"Flirting!" Erin mouthed at me.
"Well, how are they going?" he asked nudging me in the ribs.
"Wouldn't you like to know!" Erin said with mock horror.
"Actually," he said, "I'd love to know. I bet Erin doesn't have one."
Erin put her hands up, "Guilty as charged; single as a glass bottle in the ocean."
"You know, there are thousands of glass bottles in the ocean by now," I said.
"I know, but I', never alone, so that works," Erin replied. "How about you Danielle?" Erin asked it so Jason wouldn't have to.
"Single," I said. "Single like a snake in the desert."
"Now that's an analogy that expresses lonliness," Erin said, serious.
"Well, you know the truth, Erin," I replied.
"Is there something I'm missing here?" Jason asked, just barely glancing at Erin, but keeping his intense green eyes on me. "Danielle?"
Erin looked at me, "You didn't tell him?"
I shook my head.
"What?" Jason asked, the anger clear in his voice.
Erin wet her lips, "Well, under the circumstances, I think this is a strictly private matter that I can't discuss without permission."
"Nice verbage, Erin," Jason said.
"Thanks," Erin replied. Jason nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Matt?"
I nodded and let him hug me for a while. He was warm and friendly...and my heart nearly broke from the sense of betrayal.
The morning passed by in a blur of boring talks and Jason and I passing notes back and forth. It was near the end of talks...
Are you going to tell me - like what we were talking about at breakfast? Jason wrote.
I liked his handwriting; it was neat.
I might, I wrote back. It's another one of those not-so-interesting stories, you know?
I figured as much.
Did you?
I did.
I might, if I get out of baseball.
You know you will...even if you don't want to.
Thanks for giving me the warning.
You're welcome.
That was pretty much the end of our note-passing frenzy. After another loathsome talk, Jason shuttled me off to the nurse's office. Nurse Helen looked up from her ten-ton pile of paperwork, a smile lighting her face at the distraction.
"Feeling any better Danielle?" she asked cheerily, though genuinely concerened.
I was about to open my mouth, but Jason talked over me.
"She's a little dizzy," he said quickly. "Can I have a pass for two?"
Nurse Helen saw that he had been playfully flitring with me earlier. Of course she got 'hints'.
"Sure sweetheart," she said, like a pill of poisoned sugar. Helen called up the Coach. Coach was a man who thought that sports were everything. If you coulfn't do sports, you were pretty much useless in his eyes. I had my fair share of fights over him trying to get me to be athletic. It still didn't work for him.
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