More Speed Writing : )

as if I didn't have enough : )


This is putting Apologize [the song] and D.J.... which I'm still revising and putting it together thus giving you.... sadness.

Chapter 1 [i already did this : )]

Electricity.


I remember the way Matt described us. A driving force of nature. A bond so strong no one could break it. Electricity.

What happened to that? It disappeared when Matt did. I mean that literally - on the last day of camp, Matt disappeared. There was a search and everything, but nothing ever happened. No one ever found him. I refused to give up on Matt, he was too special - who knew if I would ever find someone like him that completed my life the way he had? They call it intervention. I wouldn't give up so they created this force... this magnet that blew up the electricity. This lie that he was dead - to stop me from continuing my search for Matt. They: my parents, my friends. All but the select few: my sister, Charlene, my best friends, Nathan and Erin... they refused to let me give up because they knew what he meant to me.

But what happened to Matt? I'll never know, because he probably IS dead, but I refuse that concept. If anything, I think that destiny works its magic as long as your patient enough to see what it is. But without Matt, where was the electricity that had run my life?

If life ended last year, then did it start again this year? Did it start when I met another electric person?

After Matt's disappearance, I lapsed in and out of depression. Nathan and Erin adapted to my ever-changing moods with gradulating speed - soon they were able to get my moods just by looking at me and responded accordingly. Nathan was the ruler of bear hugs and Erin the empress of shopping sprees and critic of clothes. They tried to help me and in many ways they did. I was on the long way to recovery - recovery from Matt.

It sometimes seemed as if I needed rehab to get over Matt, but sometimes I didn't want my medication.

So it all started at four A.M.

There's another short story here: Matt had this sweatshirt that he wore everywhere. When he started dating me, he told me - showed me - that the night after he had met me he had written something in that sweatshirt: I love D.J. Translation: I love Danielle Jones. He loved me. When he disappeared, Erin had given that sweatshirt to me.

I usually used it as a pillow. It still smelled like Matt's cologne. A musky, dark scent that I adored.


Okay, all I've got time for : )

Love you all!

All my love,
Asiat