Finding D.J.
Chapter 2 (Admittance)
“Why did you?” Jason asked, nearly an hour later. This overly cute guy was thinking that he had to protect me. As if I was some poor princess that needed protecting.
“Why did I what?” I asked. I had spaced out and had no idea what he was talking about.
“Why did you do that to yourself?” he clarified. He had these really pretty green eyes. They were like the bottom of a forest of something… like I said, he was cute.
“It’s a long story,” I replied, trying to take the attention off of myself. “It’s a long, not very interesting story. Nothing as interesting as yours, anyways.”
He glanced at his watch, “We have time.” He said it with a frown. A cute frown.
“Like I said, not very interesting,” I grumbled.
“I’ll get it out of you, you know,” he said. I looked at him – he winked. Was this guy flirting with me? Jason was very cute and I was attracted to him, but after him it seemed impossible that I was beautiful or that anyone could love me as much as he had. Mom claimed that I really needed to move on with my life.
“You’ll find out,” I said.
“I’ll find out what?” he asked. Apparently, we couldn’t keep up with each other.
“You’ll find out why I did what I did at out first meeting,” I whispered. He leaned in. His cologne was intoxicating.
“What meeting?” he asked, somewhat bewildered.
“The first meeting of Church camp,” I replied. “The director spends one meeting on each person. If you look on the schedule, you’ll see that I’m lined up first.”
“So I guess I can fall asleep then?”
“Huh?”
“You said that your story wasn’t interesting. I can fall asleep then.”
“Be my guest,” I replied.
Nathan turned into the driveway of All Saints’ Camp. It was a dirt road and everyone was already there. Two other SUVs; this year many had chosen not to attend. I was really happy – less people to laugh at me for making a big deal over him. Mike lifted Erin out of the middle seat and Martin jumped out of the back seat and put down his seat for Jason and me. Jason went out first and took my hand as he helped me out. He had a warm grasp. I tripped over a metal edge on the seat and flew – into what I expected to be asphalt.
And that’s exactly what I landed on. Jason had turned his head when some of the sisters had started introducing him and he hadn’t seen me trip. I went – head first – into the ground, with a force I didn’t think possible. I completely blacked out.
I couldn’t open my eyes because my head was pounding so furiously. I felt these strong muscular arms wrap around me. I tried to crack open my eyes, but a voice interrupted me.
“Don’t open your eyes, Danielle,” came Jason’s now-familiar voice. “You’re not going to like what you see.” Other voices became fainter and Jason’s became more prominent. “The nurse says you’ll be fine, you just need to rest. I’m taking you to your room. I just found out that mine is right across from yours.” He sounded pleased at that last sentence. I realized that I would rather look at his face than the black walls of my head. Whoah, where had that come from, I thought. I rationalized what I had just thought by saying to myself that my head was under a lot of pressure and that anyone would rather look at a cute guy than the inside of their own head.
Jason put me down after hauling me up the steps.
“Can you stand?” he asked quietly. He had guessed that loud noises hurt and he was right.
“I think so,” I said, but it proved wrong as I lost my balance as soon as Jason let go of me. He immediately grabbed my hips and held me up. His one arm supported me, twined around me, while the other carried my bags and opened the door to my room.
My room was cozy enough, it was dark and warm. Jason laid me down on the bed. Jason didn’t bother turning on any lights, he just sat in an over stuffed chair. It creaked eerily. I threw a pillow over my eyes. Complete and utter darkness. I found out that I still wanted to look at Jason.
“You’re going to miss the first meeting,” Jason said, keeping his voice cool and low. He took the pillow from my head and laid his hand – which was absolutely freezing – on my forehead. “The sisters said to see if I could drag your story out of you. I’m the only new kid here this year, so everyone else seems to already know your story, and they aren’t very willing to share. Will you tell me?”
“It’s an admittance I’d rather not say,” I said.
“And that means?” he asked.
“I means that I’d rather not talk about it.”
“I know what it means, but can you say a sentence that doesn’t make me have to read between the lines? Can it be all that bad?” he asked, putting his other cool hand on my forehead.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Jason was silent for a while. He left the room for a couple of minutes and returned with a rag and a bowl full of cold water which he placed on my head and turned every couple minutes. Jason was a very good nurse.
“I won’t press you,” he said quietly, gently, so softly I could barely hear.
“What?” I croaked.
“I won’t press you, but I do want to know what happened,” he said again.
“Why?” I asked, turning to look at him.
“Because,” he said, looking sagely at me with those amazing green eyes. His dark brown hair made him look like the main singer from one of those famous bands that I’d heard of, but never actually listened to.
“That’s not much on an answer,” I replied. He smiled.
“Enough, for now,” he said. “Enough until you give me a real answer to my question.”
I thought for a second, “You know, I found one word that explains what happened to me.”
“What is it?”
“Love.”
Jason gave me a look – a you-must-be-kidding look.
“Is that what disturbs you?” he asked. “Love?”
“No, it already has disturbed me,” I replied. “Perhaps I should rephrase.”
Jason’s green eyes intensified, “Please do.”
“Instead of love I should say… Matthew,” I said. His name seared down my throat. It was the first time I had said it in a year and tears popped out of the corners of my eyes.
“He hurt you bad, didn’t he?” Jason asked, wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb.
“I can’t clarify,” I replied sarcastically. “No one knows where he is.”
“What do you mean this time? Stop speaking in riddles!” Jason replied laughing, but then he turned serious, his voice in a rich baritone growl, “No, really, what do you mean?”
“I mean, on the last day of camp last year, he disappeared,” I whispered. I was afraid to say more.
Jason looked as if he was about to cry himself.
“I can’t pretend to know that that’s like,” he said. “But when my girlfriend overdosed, she was so different that I felt like I’d lost her… I guess that’s partially like what you felt?”
“I guess.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly.
“For what?” I asked. “You didn’t break my heart.”
“I made you cry – well, at least, I brought up a touchy subject that made you cry,” he said.
I laughed. His eyes widened… when had I last laughed like that?
“You think too much,” I said laughing. Suddenly I stopped and Jason lurched towards me.
“Are you okay?” he said, his low voice cracking.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m fine, just a little blurred vision, pain in the head, stupid asphalt pain.”
Jason smiled, but he didn’t look happy, “This head injury seem a lot more serious than I thought.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” I said, but I thought: I’m sure it’s Matt.
Jason told me to try and sleep, do I tried. It was a hard business, trying to sleep. Jason pulled his chair closer to my bed and took my hand. He squeezed it, let it go, and fell asleep in his chair. I looked at him, his perfect face… and a pang of betrayal… but he was so different from him. All I could think of was that I was betraying him by spending time with Jason. It was a berserk idea, but I couldn’t block it out. What was left of my brain disappeared when I realized that Jason and I had been talking – and now dosing off – for nearly half the night. It was 1:00 A.M.
I tried to go to sleep, but that didn’t work out so well.
“Why did you?” Jason asked, nearly an hour later. This overly cute guy was thinking that he had to protect me. As if I was some poor princess that needed protecting.
“Why did I what?” I asked. I had spaced out and had no idea what he was talking about.
“Why did you do that to yourself?” he clarified. He had these really pretty green eyes. They were like the bottom of a forest of something… like I said, he was cute.
“It’s a long story,” I replied, trying to take the attention off of myself. “It’s a long, not very interesting story. Nothing as interesting as yours, anyways.”
He glanced at his watch, “We have time.” He said it with a frown. A cute frown.
“Like I said, not very interesting,” I grumbled.
“I’ll get it out of you, you know,” he said. I looked at him – he winked. Was this guy flirting with me? Jason was very cute and I was attracted to him, but after him it seemed impossible that I was beautiful or that anyone could love me as much as he had. Mom claimed that I really needed to move on with my life.
“You’ll find out,” I said.
“I’ll find out what?” he asked. Apparently, we couldn’t keep up with each other.
“You’ll find out why I did what I did at out first meeting,” I whispered. He leaned in. His cologne was intoxicating.
“What meeting?” he asked, somewhat bewildered.
“The first meeting of Church camp,” I replied. “The director spends one meeting on each person. If you look on the schedule, you’ll see that I’m lined up first.”
“So I guess I can fall asleep then?”
“Huh?”
“You said that your story wasn’t interesting. I can fall asleep then.”
“Be my guest,” I replied.
Nathan turned into the driveway of All Saints’ Camp. It was a dirt road and everyone was already there. Two other SUVs; this year many had chosen not to attend. I was really happy – less people to laugh at me for making a big deal over him. Mike lifted Erin out of the middle seat and Martin jumped out of the back seat and put down his seat for Jason and me. Jason went out first and took my hand as he helped me out. He had a warm grasp. I tripped over a metal edge on the seat and flew – into what I expected to be asphalt.
And that’s exactly what I landed on. Jason had turned his head when some of the sisters had started introducing him and he hadn’t seen me trip. I went – head first – into the ground, with a force I didn’t think possible. I completely blacked out.
I couldn’t open my eyes because my head was pounding so furiously. I felt these strong muscular arms wrap around me. I tried to crack open my eyes, but a voice interrupted me.
“Don’t open your eyes, Danielle,” came Jason’s now-familiar voice. “You’re not going to like what you see.” Other voices became fainter and Jason’s became more prominent. “The nurse says you’ll be fine, you just need to rest. I’m taking you to your room. I just found out that mine is right across from yours.” He sounded pleased at that last sentence. I realized that I would rather look at his face than the black walls of my head. Whoah, where had that come from, I thought. I rationalized what I had just thought by saying to myself that my head was under a lot of pressure and that anyone would rather look at a cute guy than the inside of their own head.
Jason put me down after hauling me up the steps.
“Can you stand?” he asked quietly. He had guessed that loud noises hurt and he was right.
“I think so,” I said, but it proved wrong as I lost my balance as soon as Jason let go of me. He immediately grabbed my hips and held me up. His one arm supported me, twined around me, while the other carried my bags and opened the door to my room.
My room was cozy enough, it was dark and warm. Jason laid me down on the bed. Jason didn’t bother turning on any lights, he just sat in an over stuffed chair. It creaked eerily. I threw a pillow over my eyes. Complete and utter darkness. I found out that I still wanted to look at Jason.
“You’re going to miss the first meeting,” Jason said, keeping his voice cool and low. He took the pillow from my head and laid his hand – which was absolutely freezing – on my forehead. “The sisters said to see if I could drag your story out of you. I’m the only new kid here this year, so everyone else seems to already know your story, and they aren’t very willing to share. Will you tell me?”
“It’s an admittance I’d rather not say,” I said.
“And that means?” he asked.
“I means that I’d rather not talk about it.”
“I know what it means, but can you say a sentence that doesn’t make me have to read between the lines? Can it be all that bad?” he asked, putting his other cool hand on my forehead.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Jason was silent for a while. He left the room for a couple of minutes and returned with a rag and a bowl full of cold water which he placed on my head and turned every couple minutes. Jason was a very good nurse.
“I won’t press you,” he said quietly, gently, so softly I could barely hear.
“What?” I croaked.
“I won’t press you, but I do want to know what happened,” he said again.
“Why?” I asked, turning to look at him.
“Because,” he said, looking sagely at me with those amazing green eyes. His dark brown hair made him look like the main singer from one of those famous bands that I’d heard of, but never actually listened to.
“That’s not much on an answer,” I replied. He smiled.
“Enough, for now,” he said. “Enough until you give me a real answer to my question.”
I thought for a second, “You know, I found one word that explains what happened to me.”
“What is it?”
“Love.”
Jason gave me a look – a you-must-be-kidding look.
“Is that what disturbs you?” he asked. “Love?”
“No, it already has disturbed me,” I replied. “Perhaps I should rephrase.”
Jason’s green eyes intensified, “Please do.”
“Instead of love I should say… Matthew,” I said. His name seared down my throat. It was the first time I had said it in a year and tears popped out of the corners of my eyes.
“He hurt you bad, didn’t he?” Jason asked, wiping a tear from my cheek with his thumb.
“I can’t clarify,” I replied sarcastically. “No one knows where he is.”
“What do you mean this time? Stop speaking in riddles!” Jason replied laughing, but then he turned serious, his voice in a rich baritone growl, “No, really, what do you mean?”
“I mean, on the last day of camp last year, he disappeared,” I whispered. I was afraid to say more.
Jason looked as if he was about to cry himself.
“I can’t pretend to know that that’s like,” he said. “But when my girlfriend overdosed, she was so different that I felt like I’d lost her… I guess that’s partially like what you felt?”
“I guess.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly.
“For what?” I asked. “You didn’t break my heart.”
“I made you cry – well, at least, I brought up a touchy subject that made you cry,” he said.
I laughed. His eyes widened… when had I last laughed like that?
“You think too much,” I said laughing. Suddenly I stopped and Jason lurched towards me.
“Are you okay?” he said, his low voice cracking.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m fine, just a little blurred vision, pain in the head, stupid asphalt pain.”
Jason smiled, but he didn’t look happy, “This head injury seem a lot more serious than I thought.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” I said, but I thought: I’m sure it’s Matt.
Jason told me to try and sleep, do I tried. It was a hard business, trying to sleep. Jason pulled his chair closer to my bed and took my hand. He squeezed it, let it go, and fell asleep in his chair. I looked at him, his perfect face… and a pang of betrayal… but he was so different from him. All I could think of was that I was betraying him by spending time with Jason. It was a berserk idea, but I couldn’t block it out. What was left of my brain disappeared when I realized that Jason and I had been talking – and now dosing off – for nearly half the night. It was 1:00 A.M.
I tried to go to sleep, but that didn’t work out so well.
May the stars watch over you,
Asiat Averas
1 comment:
oh i so love this!!! I am hooked. You should totally write the whole story and then sell it for big bucks to a publisher because teenage girls/me would so buy this and dive in!!!
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