my revised scary story for hnrs. eng. I. tell me if you like it!!!
Curtained in long lashes and eyelids shadowed in black, the woman's eyes were closed. She lay on the floor of the forest, the dead, lifeless trees stretching into eternity before her. Her bloodless face the palest of whites and her body covered in a ruby red cloak. Her long hair, tangled with twigs and leaves, fell about her face. Lips the color of blood whispering to the grey sky, dusk approaching as quick as the desperate whispers; she was whispering.
The man watched her seemingly lifeless body, waiting for her to breathe. She is whispering, he thought. She is whispering, but not breathing. It didn't seem possible, but there she lay, still as a lifeless corpse, whispering without breathe. He gasped as she sat up. He watched, enticed by her beautiful face to look onwards; he admired the perfect face.
She looked at him through her closed eyelids, but suddenly that sight was not enough. She stood up. She opened her eyes, expecting to see his horrified face turn and run. He stood still watching her, his face even. She saw more clearly his face, his closed eyes. She gazed, shocked.
He saw her eyes and felt the urge to run. They were the same kind. He approached her, touching her face as it hung awkwardly from her neck in the position of a dead person, touching her face around her white eyes. She responded by touching his closed eyelids and swerving uncomfortably, disturbingly. He ignored the burn he felt when he touched her skin.
She watched with certain fascination as he opened his eyes. She looked into the whiteness that lay between his eyelids. She felt the burn where he touched her face. Her red lips pressed into a smile, the burning felt good. She reveled in the touch of his long, elegant fingers. She picked a twig from his dark, tangled hair. She ran her fingers along his red lips. She barely noted that his head was hanging awkwardly from his neck. Watching his face with an upsetting amount of attentiveness, she did not notice the moon rising.
But, then, he did not see the moon rise either; he saw nothing but her glorious face.
OKAY... i'll post the rest later... i got dance!!!
6 comments:
Greetings! I read this post Monday, but was waiting for the promised continuation before I commented, then I realized who I was dealing with and it may be like athousand years before the conclusion arrrives so I might as well just comment on the partial story. ^_~
Great creation of atmosphere in this one. You really chose your words carefully so that each one adds to the unsettling scene.
I would really like to know where this all goes. It's highly creepy, great material for a scary story.
What is going on here?!? At first she seems definately dead, but then she is reacting to his presence. Is she a ghost now or some knid of zombie creature?
Ahhh! I must know! Please post the rest before tooo long! -_-
When I first read this it reminded me of something you wrote before...a poem maybe...called "the Knight"? Thematically it sorta rings a bell.
Post a Comment